Artie Lange - Life in a Mental Institution

Artie Lange: The Stench of Failure Season 1, Ep 101 10/18/2014 Views: 2,559

Artie Lange debates the pros and cons of mental institutions and reveals why Scrabble is so unpopular with crackheads. (1:23)

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- I went to a coupleof mental institutions.

[laughter]

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, I wentto two mental institutions.

And I'll tell you, mental--

I've been to jail, and I've beento mental institutions.

And I'll tell you what,

I prefer jail,I really do--

I was in L.A. County Jailfor a week--

'Cause people in jailthink logically.

In mental institutions,they don't think logically.

You can't reason with them,but in jail, you can.

Like, people in jail,this is how they think.

I needed money,so I stole a car.

In mental homes,people think like this.

I needed money,so I jerked off at the mall.

You can't really geta good back-and-forth going

with those people.

[laughs]

It's kind of hard.

But I tell you,you haven't lived

till you've played Scrabblein a mental institution.

Yeah, there's people

who smoke so much crackthat they go crazy.

Like, there's crackheads

who smoke so much crack thatthey go to a mental institution

and they give them Scrabbleto play.

Do you know what happens whenyou give a crackhead Scrabble?

This is what they do, they go,

"No, I don't wantto play Scrabble.

"You know what I'd like to do?

"I'd like to smoke crack.

"Do you have my chart there?

Does it say Scrabble head?"

But, you know, it was just me