John Caparulo - Yard Sale

  • Season 10 , Ep 15
  • 04/06/2006
  • Views: 35,457

People at yard sales make you feel bad about stuff you don't want. (1:22)

- YOU GUYS EVER DO THAT? - [SILENCE]

GOOD. ALL RIGHT. YEAH.

I CAME HERE TO FEEL WORSE ABOUT MYSELF.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS KNOW THAT. YEAH, THAT'S AH--

WE USED TO HAVE ITEVERY YEAR BACK IN OHIOON MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND.

SO, IT'S LIKE MARDI GRAS FOR WHITE TRASH.

I NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOWPEOPLE COULD COME TO A YARD SALE

AND GET PICKY AND MAKE ME FEEL BAD

ABOUT THE STUFF I DIDN'T WANT ANYWAY?

YOU KNOW THEY GO "WHAT'S THIS? I DON'T WANT THIS."

NEITHER DO I, [BLEEP], AND THAT'S WHY IT'S A DIME.

"DOES THIS VCR HAVE A REMOTE?"

NO. IT DOESN'T HAVE A CORD EITHER.

THAT'S WHY IT'S $4, DUDE. IT'S A PIECE OF CRAP.

"WELL, I WASLOOKING FOR A NEW VCR."

YEAH. I THINK THEY SELL THOSE AT PLACES CALLED STORES.

YOU'RE IN MY GARAGE. LOOK ON THE WALL.

THAT'S A SPIDER. GET THE [BLEEP] OUTTA HERE.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

PEOPLE WILL COME TO YOUR YARD SALE AND ASK FOR ITEMS THAT THEY DON'T EVEN SEE.

LIKE I GOT DEPARTMENTS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT OR SOMETHING.

HEY, "WHERE ARE YOUR DRAPES? WE DON'T SEE DRAPES."

THAT'S 'CAUSE HOUSE WARES IS ON THE BACK PORCH.

I'M SORRY. YOU COULD STOP BY CUSTOMER SERVICE AT THE SHED,

GET A SLUSHY AND A PRETZEL. I MEAN, REALLY, IT'S NOT--

"WHAT'S YOUR RETURN POLICY?"

I'LL [BLEEP] STAB YOU IF YOU COME BACK HERE.

- GO AWAY. - [LAUGHTER]

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