Richard Lewis - Catching the Bouquet

Ross Shafer & Barry Diamond Season 1, Ep 17 02/24/1992 Views: 465

Richard can't even imagine getting married. (2:04)

AND HEY, WHO AM I TO MOCK?WHO AM I TO MOCK?

I'M 44, I HAVEN'TBEEN MARRIED, I'M...

THE WORDS "I DO,"I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE

SAYING THAT ON AN ALTAR.

I MEAN, EVEN NOW, I GO OUT,I MAKE LOVE, I'M IN BED

EVEN IF I GET AROUSED

MY PENIS IS IN THE SHAPEOF A QUESTION MARK.

SO, I MEAN, WHO AM I? COME ON.

( laughter )

BUT, UH... YOU KNOW...

"YOU KNOW" ISA COMIC SORT OF SEGUE

WHEN YOU BELCH,AND THEN YOU COVER IT UP.

UM... BUT THIS WEDDINGIS GOING TO BE A NIGHTMARE.

I MAY AS WELL FINISHTHIS STORY OVER.

IT'S A NIGHTMARE FOR ME,I GOT TO BE THERE IN TWO WEEKS.

THE PHOTOGRAPHER WILL BE THERE,THE LEWIS FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHER.

"BE DEVASTATED!"

( imitates camera shutter clicking )

IT'LL BE THAT KIND OF THING.

BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF COUSINS

WHO ARE IN THEIR 40sWHO HAVEN'T BEEN MARRIED

AND THEY THROW THAT BOUQUET DEALAT THE END.

ONE COUSIN--I HAVE TO CHANGE HER NAME.

I'LL CALL HER...I'LL CALL HER VENUS.

SHE'S ALWAYS THERE,AND I LOVE HER

BUT I DON'T THINK SHE'S RIGHTTO BE MARRIED.

BEFORE EVERY WEDDINGI SEE HER...

IT'S ALMOST LIKE THE SUPER BOWL.

IT'S LIKE THE ROCKY THEME--

SHE ACTUALLY BRINGSA ROCKY THEME CASSETTE

A LITTLE BLACK UNDER HER EYES,SHOULDER PADS.

I HEARD RUMORS THAT LAST YEAR

SHE WENT TO THIS SUMMERBOUQUET FANTASY CAMP, YOU KNOW

JUST TO BE READY.

IT'S SAD, TO ME IT'S SAD.

BUT SHE'LL BE THERE, YOU KNOW

AND IN FACT,ACTUALLY, LAST YEAR--

SHE DIDN'T GET MARRIED THIS YEAR

BUT LAST YEAR AT WALDO'S WEDDINGSHE CAME OUT, SHE HAD THE BLACK

THE SHOULDER PADS,THE WHOLE THING

BUT SHE WAS SO HIP--SHE PUT STICKUM ON HER HAND

AND WHEN THE BRIDE THREWTHE THING, SHE WENT...

IT WAS LIKE WILLIE MAYSIN 1954 IN THE WORLD SERIES.

SHE ACTUALLY MADEA TREMENDOUS LEAP

AND THE BOUQUET STUCKTO HER HAND BECAUSE OF THIS...

( laughter )

I WAS TREMENDOUSLYIMPRESSED BY THAT.