Uncensored - Speed Roasting - Valentine's Day

Week of 2/11/2013 - Snoop Lion, Glaser, Madrigal, May Season 2, Ep 6 02/12/2013 Views: 8,157

Nikki Glaser, Al Madrigal and Ralphie May burn Jeff's family members in the audience. (3:02)

Who wants to be speed-roasted?

Volunteers only.

[scattered cheers]

Oh my g-- oh my goodness.

How you doing, sir?

Stand up if you can.

What happened to you?

-Ross, he looks like youfucked your Mexican housekeeper

like Schwarzenegger.

-Shrek Rogen.

I sincerely-- I lovedyou in "Supersad."

-Who does youraudience coordination?

Greyhound?

-These are truefans who come all

the way from Tijuana to be here.

-That's what I was gonna say.

Somewhere in Tijuana, there'sa bridge missing a troll, and--

What's the varsity jacket for?

What sport?

Cut a hole in the fencing?

Track.

Track.

They can run.

-Do you have a date forValentine's Day, buddy?

-My mom.

-Your mom.

Oh, that makes it-- we havesomething in common then.

That's cool.

I'm going to fuckyour mom, you get it?

Do I have to spell thisone out to you, buddy?

Are you a man or a woman?

AL MADRIGAL: Where'dyou get your hair cut?

Autistic Sam's?

-Are you guys together?

-Yes.

-Oh, I like it.

A little Valentine'sDay speed roast.

Oh my god.

Your tits are aboutto eat that necklace.

Turn around so they can see too.

What's your name?

What's your name?

-I'm Katie.

-Katie, and what's your name?

-Sean.

-Sean, and youguys are boyfriend

and girlfriend or something?

-Yeah.-We're you meet?

Eat-Harmony?

-Yeah.

-Big round of applause forMike and Molly, everybody.

Yeah, I love your show.

I love your show.

You guys are cute, andyou both have great tits.

All right.

Valentine-- thank you very much.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Melinda, did youraise your hand?

All right.

One more.

One more.

Come here.Come here.

This is my cousin,Melinda, everybody.

AL MADRIGAL: Is anyone inyour family attractive?

-No.

She's a dancer.

She's a Latin dancer.

RALPHIE MAY: I got a dollar.

-My Aunt Donna's a therapist.

She thinks she's going toget fired if she's on TV.

And here's my Uncle Joe, whomolested me when I was 15.

-Thank you.

Thank you.

-Thank you for givingme a sense of humor.

-Yeah.

-Give it up for all myamazing volunteers this week.

Thank you.

Great job.

-Aunt Donna and Uncle Joeand Melinda and-- Al, Ralpie,

and Nikki, one more time.