Adele Givens - Emergency Broadcast System

  • Season 6 , Ep 6
  • 05/26/2002
  • Views: 5,351

9/11 is what the emergency broadcast system guy had been preparing for all along. (2:08)

THE WAR BECAUSE IT'S SUCH A

TOUGH, TOUCHY SUBJECT RIGHT NOW.

BUT BEFORE I STOP TALKING ABOUT

IT, I DO HAVE A LEGITIMATE

QUESTION.

ONE LEGITIMATE QUESTION THAT

I'VE BEEN ASKING EVERYBODY

AND NOBODY HAS THE ANSWER.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE

EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM ON

SEPTEMBER 11th?"

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WE'VE BEEN PRACTICING WITH

THAT BASTARD FOR ALL OUR LIVES,

HAVEN'T WE?

YOU LET HIM INTERRUPT ALL YOUR

PROGRAMMING.

YOU SAID, "OKAY, WHAT THE HELL.

WHAT'S THE ODDS?

I PROBABLY WON'T NEED HIS ASS

BUT I'M GOING TO LISTEN TO THE

PLAN ANYWAY."

YOU CAN RECITE IT.

"THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY

BROADCAST SYSTEM.

THIS IS ONLY A TEST.

FOR THE NEXT SIXTY SECONDS, THIS

STATION WILL CONDUCT A TEST."

THEN HE VIOLATED YOUR ASS WITH

ALL THESE NOISES AND YOU

LISTENED.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE FOR A

SANDWICH OR NOTHING.

'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T KNOW.

YOU MIGHT NEED THE INFORMATION

ONE DAY.

AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT Y'ALL

ASS, BUT I THINK 911 WAS THAT

DAMN DAY.

AND YOU DIDN'T HEAR FROM HIM.

AND I'M LIKE WAIT A MINUTE.

IT'S THE SAME GUY.

EVEN AFTER THE COMMERCIAL,

AFTER THE TEST YOU LISTENED.

HE TOLD YOU, "THIS HAS BEEN A

TEST OF THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST

SYSTEM.

HAD THIS BEEN AN ACTUAL

EMERGENCY WE WOULD HAVE INFORMED

YOU WHERE TO GO IN YOUR AREA."

WELL, I'M LOOKING FOR YOU TED

OR WHATEVER YOUR DAMN NAME IS.

SO, I SAY BRING HIS ASS UP ON

CHARGES, FIND OUT HIS SIDE OF

THE STORY.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU ON

SEPTEMBER 11th?"

I KNOW HE GONNA TRY TO LIE

AND PRETEND THAT HE DID RING

THAT BELL.

HE'S GOING TO SAY, "IN ALL

THE EXCITEMENT AND THE CHAOS

Y'ALL DIDN'T HEAR ME.

YOU DIDN'T PAY NO ATTENTION."

WELL, I GOT TAPE.

SOME OF Y'ALL GOT TAPE.

ONE THING YOU HEARD WAS

A LOT OF BACKGROUND NOISE

WHEN THAT SECOND PLANE HIT,

DIDN'T YOU?

BUT YOU DID NOT HEAR, "THIS IS

THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM

BASTARD."

RUN!"

"THIS IS THE DAY WE'VE BEEN

PRACTICING FOR.

GET YOUR (BLEEP) AND GET OUT OF

HERE!"

(APPLAUSE)

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