Christopher Titus - British Security

Titus, Simmons, Pence, Sierk, DeVito, Crowe, Tatara Season 1, Ep 4 07/20/2006 Views: 14,154

British security let a man in a Batman costume climb Buckingham Palace. (2:01)

for the troops.

Our English allies are amazing.

The day I'm in Englandperforming,

English security let a man

in a Batman suitclimb Buckingham Palace.

I felt so much safer.

Who the hell was on the gatethat day?

( English accent ):All right, step through,step through, step through.

You with the goatee,I don't like your look.

Empty your pockets,take off your shoes.

Batman, go ahead. You!

I believe your search

is going to be a bit moreintensive.

Hold on. Hello?

What? Course I let him through.

He's a superhero, isn't he?

Well, how do you know it's not the real Batman?

Batman was on the wallof Buckingham Palace

for five hours.

Wouldn't happen in America.

Three minutes, dead Batman.


Because we have guns here.

That's why they couldn't gethis ass off the wall.

All they got is sticksin England.

( English accent ):Batman, please, grab the endof my baton.

We'll pull you in.

Batman, you're making uslook stupid.

But no guns is why they caughttheir terrorists.

Remember the bus terrorists?

They caught those guysin, like, four weeks

because they could putthe pictures of those guys

on television and the wholecountry's looking for 'em.

Can't do that in America.

You put four pictures

of fourMiddle-Eastern-looking cats

on television here

and you tell this countryto find 'em,

you got 4,000 dead Middle-Eastern people the next day.

( hick accent ):Looked just like 'em!

I been buying gas from himfor a while.