Janeane Garofalo - Young People

  • Season 1 , Ep 3
  • 01/22/2010
  • Views: 20,049

Did you know that there are people out there who were born in 1989? That's real. (3:08)

NOW, ALSO WHEN IWAS IN AUSTRALIA

I WENT TO "V" FESTIVAL,MUSIC FESTIVAL SPONSORED BY--

(clears throat)EXCUSE ME.

SPONSORED BY VIRGIN ATLANTIC,OR VIRGIN MUSIC, WHAT HAVE YOU.

AND I SAW THE BAND MADNESS.FANTASTIC, FANTASTIC.

(applause)

AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH,I WAS ACTUALLY SORT OF DANCING,

WHICH IS HIGHLY UNUSUAL.

WE DON'T HAVE THE TIME FOR METO EXPLAIN HOW UNUSUAL THAT IS,

BUT I'M NOT A DANCERAS A RULE, BUT I WAS.

AND THERE WAS KIND OFAN ATTRACTIVE GENTLEMAN

DANCING NEAR ME,AND WE'RE CHITTER-CHATTERING.

AND THEN WE RAN OUTOF THINGS TO SAY,

AND I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO LEAVESO I JUST SAID,

"I'M SO EXCITEDTO SEE MADNESS.

I'VE HAVEN'T SEEN THEMSINCE 1982."

AND THEN HE SAID,"I WASN'T EVEN BORN IN 1982."

NOW COME ON, THIS IS--I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHING.

THIS IS HOW--THIS IS TRUE,

NOT THAT I'VE BEEN LYING ABOUTANYTHING ELSE.

BUT LISTEN, I'M GONNA TELL YOUSOMETHING THAT'S TRUE.

DO YOU KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLETHAT WERE BORN IN 1989?(laughter)

THAT'S REAL.THAT'S TRUE.

THERE ARE PEOPLETHAT WERE BORN IN 1989.

I HAVE MET THEM.(laughter)

I ACTUALLY MET SOMEBODY BORNIN 1991.

HOW IS THAT TECHNICALLYPOSSIBLE?

HOW IS IT TECHNICALLY POSSIBLE?

HONESTLY, WHAT--THAT MEANSTHAT I WAS ALREADY

A BLACKOUT DRUNKWITH AN EATING DISORDER

AND YOU WERE JUST JOINING US.(laughter)

YOU WERE JUST,JUST JOINING US.(applause and cheers)

I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND.LOOK AT THEM, CHEERING.

SO COCKY.THEY'RE SO COCKY.

AGAIN, I'M NOT MAD AT YOU,BUT LISTEN, YOU YOUNG PEOPLE,

WITH YOUR TWITTERINGAND YOUR CREATING OF CONTENT,

OR WHAT IS IT, QUEEFING?IS THAT WHAT IT IS?(laughter)

TWITTERING.QUEEFING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUYOUNG PEOPLE ARE CALLING IT

WITH THE STUFF.

YOU'RE JUST CREATING CONTENT.YOU'RE CREATING CONTENT.

YOU'RE CREATING CONTENT.

NOW LISTEN, YOUNG PEOPLE,I UNDERSTAND NARCISSISM,

CLEARLY.(laughter)

CLEARLY,I UNDERSTAND NARCISSISM.

BUT AT LEAST I HAVE THE DECENCYTO HATE MYSELF.

(laughter)

AND THAT'S WHAT'SMISSING FROM--

(cheers and applause)

THE YOUNG PEOPLE, THEY DON'T--THEY DON'T--

THE YOUNG PEOPLE DON'T HAVETHE DEBILITATING SELF-LOATHING

AND THE SECOND GUESSINGAND ALL OF THAT.

YOU REALLY--AND YOU'RE SO--WITH YOUR SKIN

FEELING YOUR OATS THEREWITH YOUR GREAT SKIN.

IT'S ALMOST DEWY.

YOU KNOW--YOU KNOW,IT'S, UH--

YOU KNOW, WHAT BOTHER--WHITEY IS BLOWING UP THE MOON,

AND I CAN'T GETA DECENT PORE MINIMIZER.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.WHERE'S THE TECHNOLOGY?

PROBABLY GOINGTO THE MATTRESSES,

THE REVOLUTION,WHICH BY THE WAY,

APPARENTLY WILL BE TELEVISED,THE MATTRESS REVOLUTION.

SO WHAT ELSE DID I WANTTO TELL YOU?

I LEARNED HOW TO SAY SOMETHINGIN AUSTRALIAN.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR?READY?

(Australian accent)NATALIE PORTMAN.

(laughter and applause)

(normal voice) THANK YOU.ROSETTA STONE.

I ALSO LEARNED TO SAYWHEN I WAS IN ITALY--

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR SOMEITALIAN I PICKED UP?

(Italian accent)JAMES-A FRANCO.(laughter)

FROM THE FREAKS-AAND THE GEEKS-A.

WHY SO SAD,JAMESA FRANCO?

(laughter)

(normal voice)THANK YOU.

I KNOW, LIKE I SAID,ROSETTA STONE.

(laughter)

IT'S AMAZING.IT'S LIKE A TOTAL IMMERSION.

(Italian accent) A-GUCCI, GUCCI,PORAMA, JAMES-A FRANCO.

LOOK AT--I JUSTREMEMBERED THAT RIGHT NOW.(laughter)

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