Jeff Dunham - Achmed Talks Religion

Jeff Dunham: Controlled Chaos Season 1, Ep 0101 09/25/2011 Views: 52,219

Achmed reveals the many religions that he followed when he was alive and raves about the nightlife on tour. (2:13)

are you Muslim?

No. Scientologist.

(laughter)

But you usedto be Muslim?

No. Look at me.

I'm too extreme.

I was Catholic.

(laughter)

Really?

And Methodist...What?

Buddhist...What?

And Baptist...What?

And Capricorn.Wait a minute.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to offendas many infidels as possible.

(evil laughter)

And speaking of offending,

do you know what thatidiot Peanut did to me?

What?

He stole my ShamWow.

(laughter)

It's not funny!

Silence!

(laughter)

Wait for it.

(uproarious laughter)

(cheering)

I keel you!

(cheering and applause)

That's fantastic.

Let's do it together.One, two, three...

ALL:I keel you!

They're talking to you.

(laughter)

So, Achmed, are youenjoying Richmond?

Oh, I love the nightlife here.

Uh, what part ofthe nightlife?

They have live sex shows.

Really? Where?

In the hotel roomright next to mine.

(laughter)

(laughter)

What?

That's my room.

(cheering and whistling)

Next time you shouldget a partner.