Jeff Dunham - Achmed Tries to Offend

Season 1 , Ep 0101 09/25/11 Views: 51,842

Jeff Dunham finds it hard to believe that Achmed used to be Catholic. (2:13)

are you Muslim?

No. Scientologist.

(laughter)

But you usedto be Muslim?

No. Look at me.

I'm too extreme.

I was Catholic.

(laughter)

Really?

And Methodist...What?

Buddhist...What?

And Baptist...What?

And Capricorn.Wait a minute.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to offendas many infidels as possible.

(evil laughter)

And speaking of offending,

do you know what thatidiot Peanut did to me?

What?

He stole my ShamWow.

(laughter)

It's not funny!

Silence!

(laughter)

Wait for it.

(uproarious laughter)

(cheering)

I keel you!

(cheering and applause)

That's fantastic.

Let's do it together.One, two, three...

ALL:I keel you!

They're talking to you.

(laughter)

So, Achmed, are youenjoying Richmond?

Oh, I love the nightlife here.

Uh, what part ofthe nightlife?

They have live sex shows.

Really? Where?

In the hotel roomright next to mine.

(laughter)

(laughter)

What?

That's my room.

(cheering and whistling)

Next time you shouldget a partner.

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