Extended - Keeping Up Trump-pearances - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, August 11, 2016 - Uncensored 08/11/2016 Views: 534

Kurt Metzger, Annie Lederman and Al Jackson guess whether the latest video of Donald Trump to resurface involves an air guitar session or an awkward beach volleyball game. (3:30)

First up-- keeping up


Keeping up Trump-earances.

(applause and cheering)

Since screeching hobo's filthy

lice-ravaged ball sack that's

been dragged over a urine-soaked

truck stop toilet and repeatedly

slapped with a greasy

maggot-covered slice of pizza,

pulled out of a flaming Dumpster

and covered in mutant deer

ticks, created in a steroid

factory after the technicians

were up all night getting buzzed

off cough syrup, Donald Trump,

uh, announced his candidacy...

(applause and cheering)

...the Internet can't get enough

of digging up his embarrassing

old television appearances.

What's the latest Trump clip to

go viral?

A: Trump awkwardly playing beach


B: Trump awkwardly playing air

guitar at Cheap Trick concert?

C: Trump awkwardly sacrificing a

goat in order to please the

Ancient Dark Gods?


>> Uh, Trump awkwardly playing

air guitar at a Cheap Trick


>> HARDWICK: Let's find out.

>> Here it is, Your Moment of


>> Nice serve from Feiffer.

(Trump groans)

>> Wow.

(indistinct chatter)

>> Yeah!

(whistle blowing)

>> Well, his hat looks great.


>> HARDWICK: I like that spry

teenage boy who introduced the


Who was that young man?

>> You did such a good job.

>> How could he think he'd hit a

volleyball with those little pin

hands, honestly?


>> HARDWICK: Why does he look

worse back then?


>> That's another good question.

>> Every girl that, like, wants

to be a gold digger, like, these

are the guys you have to fuck.

Like, guys who look like this.

>> HARDWICK: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

>> Just finish grad school.

>> HARDWICK: Yeah.

>> Well...

>> HARDWICK: Here's a slightly

more dynamic Vine complete with

a "Top Gun" soundtrack that Kyle

Griffin posted to Twitter.

>> ♪ I'd say it was the right

time... ♪


>> It looks like Matteo Lane.

>> I love it.

>> HARDWICK: ♪ Highway to the

safety zone. ♪

Who needs shirtless Tom Cruise

when you got those perky man

boobs bouncing up and down in

that saucy polo shirt.

Oh, is it out?

No, it's fucking tucked all the

way in.

Way in those jeans.

>> Have you ever seen a shirt

tucked in on the beach?

>> HARDWICK (laughing): No.

>> That look... that look, like,

just says undercover cop.

>> I like... I want to, like...

>> HARDWICK: "Hey, you kids know

where I can score some grass?"

"Get out of here!

You're a narc!"

"No, what are you talking about?

I'm cool."

>> Oh, I wanted to see him

topless so bad.

>> HARDWICK: So...

>> Just see if that chest hair

was the same.

>> HARDWICK: Oh, my God.

>> It's real.

>> HARDWICK: I'm surprised he

was that close to the water.

I think the salt water burns his

skin, like... I'm surprised...

>> Well, I... no, it looks like,

uh, the-the Michael Keaton

Batman when the Joker gets his

face ripped.

>> HARDWICK: Oh, yeah, yeah,

yeah, totally.

>> Uh, I never tuck in my shirt

'cause I'm afraid I'm gonna shit

my pants one day and it'll,

like, shoot up my back and hit



Whatever, he's... maybe he's

greater than me.

>> HARDWICK: Yup, that...

This is a little warning, if

you do that, it creates a shit


>> There you go.

>> HARDWICK: ...that goes right

up here... and then...

>> Goes right to your mullet.

>> Oh, God, it's too late!

Look at that hair.

>> HARDWICK: It's too late!

Oh, my God!

He can't stop shitting!

Look at it!

Oh, somebody help him!

Oh, my God, it's everywhere!

(cheers and applause)

>> It's weird...

It's weird that...

it's weird that he's picked,

like, a color to dye his hair

that wasn't his hair color.

Like, on top of it.

Like, he was never a blond.

He's like, "Now's my time."

>> HARDWICK: Yeah, "Now's my

time... to go blond."

I don't know.

I don't know.

Anyway, fuck that guy.

>> Whatever.

>> HARDWICK: Uh...

>> Oh, I'm voting for him.

You guys aren't...?

Oh! Oh!

>> HARDWICK: Yeah of course,