Maria Bamford - Standards of Beauty

  • Season 5 , Ep 2
  • 07/01/2001
  • Views: 17,751

It's hard in L.A., but where Maria Bamford's from, she's a goddess. (2:36)

YOU GUYS ROCK.

HOLY COW.

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME IN

NEW YORK, SO THIS IS AWESOME.

THIS IS HOW IT ALWAYS IS?

AW, MAN.

UM.

I'M, UM, I'M FROM A LITTLE

LAKE PICWAM, MINNESOTA.

(CROWD CHEERING)

I'D LIKE TO SEND A LITTLE SHOUT

OUT TO ALL ME PEEPS.

LITTLE LAKE PICWAM.

MINNWESOINA HIS AT.

UM.

AH, YEAH.

I JUST MOVED ACTUALLY TO

LOS ANGELES AND I SOMETIMES

I STILL GET A LITTLE HOME SICK.

AND THAT'S WHEN I LIKE TO PUT ON

MY LED ZEPPLIN CD, PLUG IN MY

CURLING IRON, AND JUST GET FULL

ON, BALLS TO THE WALL, PRETTY.

(LAUGHTER)

YEAH.

OH, BUT IT IS HARD IN L.A.,

THOUGH.

THE STANDARDS.

WHERE I COME FROM I AM A

GODDESS.

(LAUGHTER)

I JUST SLAP ON SOME BLUE EYE

SHADOW AND I HEAD OUT.

(LAUGHTER)

L.A.

IT'S HARD THOUGH, YOU KNOW?

IT USE TO BE IN L.A., YOU USE TO

HAD TO BE SKINNY.

I GOT THAT DOWN, THOUGH,

YOU KNOW?

NOW IT'S LIKE YOU GOT TO HAVE

MUSCLE TONE, THOUGH.

SO IT'S ALL I'M TIRED AND HUNGRY

AND I HAVE TO GO WORK OUT.

(LAUGHTER)

PRETTY SOON, I BET IT'S GOING

TO BE IMPOSSIBLE.

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE

MORBIDLY OBESE, WHILE

MAINTAINING THOSE TINY LITTLE

TWEETY BIRD ANKLES AND A

WANDERING EYE.

(LAUGHTER)

MY MANAGER, HE GOT ME A

SUBSCRIPTION TO SOME LADIES

MAGAZINES, SO I COULD GET SOME

BEAUTY TIPS.

AND IT TURNS OUT I NEED ONLY ONE

MAGAZINE 'CAUSE THEY HAVE THE

SAME ARTICLE EVERY MONTH.

THOSE OF LIKE "30 WAYS TO SHAPE

UP FOR SUMMER."

(GIGGLES)

"NUMBER ONE- EAT LESS.

NUMBER TWO- EXERCISE MORE.

NUMBER THREE-- NUMBER THREE"...

WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?

(LAUGHTER)

I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

I THINK EVERYBODY DESERVES

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