WAS VERY SIMILARTO LOSING MY VIRGINITY.
IT WAS AWKWARD, UNCOMFORTABLE,BUT I DID GET A LOT OF LAUGHS.
JUST NOT WHEN I WASDOING COMEDY.
[LAUGHTER]
WHEN I WAS AFRESHMAN IN COLLEGE,I WAS PART OF A
SKETCH ENSEMBLECALLED "THE NEW GROUP",WHICH LATER BECAME
- KNOWN AS "THE STATE." YES.- [CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]
THE FIRST THING WE EVER DID
WAS A VIDEO ABOUT HOW AUDIENCESHOULD BEHAVE AT A SKETCH SHOW.
[LAUGHTER]
YOU MAY RECOGNIZE MY COSTAR,MICHAEL IAN BLACK.
OR, AS HE WAS KNOWN THEN,MICHAEL SCHWARTZ
BEFORE HE CHANGED HIS NAMEBECAUSE HE'S A SELF-HATING JEW.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
NOW, THAT WAS THE SAME YEARTHAT I FIRST DID STANDUP.
I ENTERED A COMEDY CONTESTON A BET AND I WAS TERRIFIED.
I'D NEVER DONE STANDUP BEFORE
SO I MADE UP A STAGE NAME,EDDIE ENGLISH.
AND I WORE THISLITTLE DRIVER'S CAP.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE CAPWAS SUPPOSED TO SIGNIFY
OTHER THAN THATI MIGHT HAVE BEEN A HIGH SCHOOLPRODUCTION OF OLIVER.
[LAUGHTER]
MOSTLY, THOUGH,I DID BAD IMPRESSIONS.FOR INSTANCE,
I DID AN IMPRESSION OFJOHN TRAVOLTA FROM THE TV MOVIE
THE BOY IN THE PLASTIC BUBBLE.WHICH WENT SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
"HEY, I'M A BOYAND I'M TRAPPED INSIDETHIS BUBBLE."
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
DID I WIN THE CONTEST? NO.
BUT DID I COME IN SECOND? NO.
BUT DID I COME IN THIRD? NO.
WERE THERE ONLYFOUR COMPETITORS? YEAH.
BUT IT WAS A THRILLINGAND TERRIFYING FEELING
AND I CAUGHT THE BUGFOR STANDUP THAT NIGHT.
I DREW FROM THOSE EXPERIENCESFOR THE VERY NEXT TIME
- I DID STANDUP 12 YEARS LATER.- [LAUGHTER]