Denzel's Dating Advice - Uncensored

  • Season 3 , Ep 7
  • 10/28/2014
  • Views: 754

When the rangers go out drinking, Denzel helps Steve with his crush on Ethel, Woody gets wasted, and Malloy receives some unwanted attention from a dog. (2:24)

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- HERE'S TO HAVINGNOTHING TO CELEBRATE.

- ACTUALLY,TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY.

- LIKE I SAID,NOTHING TO CELEBRATE!

- HEY, WHERE'S MALLOY?

- EH, HE COULDN'T BE HERE.HE GOT TIED UP.

- I'M GOINGTO GET WOODY FOR THIS.

OH, GOD!

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT MELIKE THAT?

[dog grunts]

THAT IS AN ODD PLACETO KEEP YOUR LIPSTICK.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER, BUDDY?ARE YOU STILL BUMMED

ABOUT YOUREPISODE OF INTERVENTION?

- STEVE, WE'RE HEREBECAUSE WE ALL LOVE YOU.

BUT YOU'VE GOTTO STOP JIZZING INSIDE US.

- I'M SORRY.IT JUST FEELS SO GOOD.

- FEELS GOOD? I'M STIFFAS A BOARD, YOU FREAKY BASTARD!

- NAH, IT'S ETHEL.YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LIKE HER,

BUT SHE WON'T GIVE METHE TIME OF DAY.

NOW SHE'S DATINGTHE CEO OF SKYMALL.

WHAT DOES HE HAVE THAT I DON'T?- TELEPHONE SHOES?

- YOU'RE RIGHT.I DON'T STAND A CHANCE.

- STEVE, YOU GOT TO GET WOMENWHEN THEY'RE DOWN.

THAT'S WHAT I DO, LITERALLY.

I GET LIFE ALERTCALLS FORWARDED TO MY PHONE.

[cell phone beeps]

- I'VE FALLEN,AND I CAN'T GET UP!

- SEE IF YOU CAN SLIPYOUR PANTIES OFF.

I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE.

- IT MAY LOOK LIKE AN ORDINARYFAN-COOLED SOLAR SAFARI HAT,

BUT IT'S ALSO A LITTER BOX.

[cat meows]SKYMALL!

- THAT'S AMAZING!

I WAS JUST TELLING A FRIENDTHAT I WISH I HAD A HAT

THAT A CAT COULD SHIT IN.- SKYMALL!

- LISTEN, I KNOW WE'VE ONLYBEEN ON A COUPLE OF DATES,

BUT I SEE A REAL FUTURE FOR US.

- I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT SAY THAT.THAT'S WHY I GOT YOU THIS.

- [gasps] OH, MY GOD!THE ANSWER IS YE--

- IT'S THE WORLD'S SMALLESTWHITE NOISE MACHINE.

- WHAT?BUT WHAT ABOUT US?

- WE'RE DONE.I'M NOT READY TO SETTLE DOWN.

BUT YOU CAN SET THISTO HEAVY RAIN

TO MASK THE SOUNDOF YOUR TEARS.

- YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME?

[rain pattering]

- SKYMALL!

- GIVE ME THAT!

- STEVE, NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.

ETHEL'S LOWERTHAN ABE VIGODA'S LEFT NUT.

- HER NEXT BOTTLE'S ON ME.

- NO, I'LL CALL YOU,I PROMISE.

WE JUST [bleep] IN THE BATHROOM.I'M OUT!

- ARE YOU SUREYOU'RE OKAY TO DRIVE?

- ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY TOMIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS?

I'M FINE.

YOU'RE DOING GOOD, JOHNSON.

JUST KEEP IT BETWEEN THE LINES.

[water bubbling]

OH, CRAP. MALLOY, QUICK!GET BEHIND THE WHEEL!

MALLOY!

AH!I THOUGHT RED MEANT STOP!

[rousing music]

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