Brian Regan - Reading the News

Brian Regan: The Epitome of Hyperbole Season 1, Ep 101 09/06/2008 Views: 67,440

If a newspaper story doesn't begin and end on the front page, Brian Regan isn't interested. (1:58)

Watch Full Episode

AND I READ IN THE NEWSPAPERTHAT MORE AND MORE ADULTS

ARE LIVING AT HOMEWITH THEIR PARENTS.

THAT SURPRISED ME.

I WAS LIKE, "MOM,DID YOU READ THIS?"

I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

SO SURPRISED,I COUGHED FRUIT LOOPSALL OVER MY BIB.

( muttering )

CAME OUTALL HAPHAZARDLY.

I'M JOKING.MY MOM READ THAT FOR ME.

"SOUND IT OUT.SOUND IT OUT."

"MOR-EE AND MOR-EE

ADOOLTS..."

I DON'T LIKEREADING THE NEWSPAPER.

'CAUSE FIRST OF ALL,IT'S HARD.

ALSO, THEY NEVER WRAP UPA STORY ON THE FRONT PAGE,

AND I'M NEVER CURIOUSENOUGH TO GO INSIDE

TO FIND OUT HOWANYTHING EVER ENDS.

"AND AFTERA NINE-YEAR TRIAL,

THE JURYFINALLY CAME IN

WITH A VERDICT OF...

CONTINUED ON PAGE 22,COLUMN C."

I GUESSI'LL NEVER KNOW.

EVER SEE THESE PEOPLE?

"I WANT TO LEARN.

I WANT TO BEA LEARNER OF THINGS."

YOU WANT ME TO KNOWWHAT'S GOING ON,

YOU PUT A PICTUREOF IT ON THE FRONT PAGE.

READING'S HARD.YOU EVER TRY THAT?

NO, I READ GOOD.

GOODLY.

BUT I HATE WHEN YOU'RETRYING TO READ SOMETHING

AND YOU COME ACROSSTHE EXPRESSION,

"ONE THING LEDTO ANOTHER."

WHAT IN THE HELLKINDA LAZY WRITING IS THAT?

ISN'T THAT YOUR JOBAS THE WRITER

TO TELL ME HOWTHIS LED TO THAT?

YOU CAN JUSTTHROW THAT IN THERE?

"ADOLF HITLERWAS REJECTED AS A YOUNG MAN

IN HIS APPLICATIONTO ART SCHOOL.

ONE THING LEDTO ANOTHER...