Rick Corso - Imitation Crab Meat

Margaret Smith & Rick Corso Season 1, Ep 0159 02/24/1992 Views: 1,693

Fish are not trying to do impressions of crabs. (1:13)

YOU KNOW, THE FLIGHT ATTENDANTSARE A LITTLE BIT CONDESCENDING.

"HEY, NEED ANY HELPFINDING YOUR SEAT?"

"YEAH, I'M A MORON,I CAN'T COUNT TO 14.

1, 2, 3... WHAT'S AFTER 3?I'M BLANKING... 11, 19?"

( gibbering )

"HELP ME FIND MY SEAT."

JUST POINT TO THE FATTEST GUYIN THE PLANE

BECAUSE I SIT NEXT TO HIMEVERY TIME.

"YOU'RE GOINGTO BE WEDGED BETWEEN

"HEY, KOOL-AID AND MR. FRENCH.

NOW, SHUT UP,I'LL BRING YOUR PEANUTS."

I SPOKE WITH MY MOTHERON THE PHONE TODAY.

SHE HAS CALL WAITING, BUTSHE HAS NO IDEA HOW IT WORKS.

SHE HEARS THAT CLICK, THERE'SANOTHER CALL, SHE PANICS.

SHE SOUNDS LIKE JERRY LEWIS:

"WAIT, CLICK, CALL, DON'T GO."

"PERSON WAITING CALL,DON'T GO!"

"PERSON... CALL."

A LITTLE IMPRESSION, SEE?

MY MOTHER CALLS THOSE"IMITATIONS."

I DON'T LIKE THAT WORD.

PUTS ME IN THAT CATEGORY--CHEAP HANDBAGS, FAKE FURS...

NOW THEY HAVE THIS STUFFIN THE SUPERMARKETS:

IMITATION CRABMEAT.

YOU KNOW THERE'S NOT FISH GOING,"WAIT, I DO A GREAT CRAB."

( laughter )