how many of you are takingpenis enlargement pills?
All right, fair enough.Very proud of that.
See, men take these pillsbecause they want
to, you know, impress women.
Because they think, oh, womenonly want to sleep
with men who have big dongs.
Is that true?I don't know, let's find out.
Women, how many of you can onlysleep with a man
if you know he's got a big,frickin' ding-a-ling?
All right, honesty.Honesty's good.
See, here's the thing--
women like that exist--
women who can only sleepwith a man
whose got a big frickin' penis.
And there's a reasonbehind that.
It's a medical condition.
I'll explain it to youright now.
Those type of women can onlysleep with a man
if he's got a big penis
because they need that big(bleep)
to fill the inner voidwithin them...
(laughter and applause)
You know, the one that's causedby the lack of a soul.
I don't-- I don't havea big penis.
And you know what,I don't want one.
I don't need one.I'm good with my discrete penis.
It's been mine all my life.
I know exactly how to use it.
I know its strengths,I know its weaknesses.
It's compact, but it handlesthe road, you know?
And it gets great gas mileage.
And it has a sun roofand power locks.
Just imagine a warrior,
the deadliest warriorin the world,
but he's only deadlywith a dagger.
Doesn't matter the sizeof your weapon if you're deadly.
What I'm trying to say is,
ladies, just let me come at youwith my dagger.
I promise I will slay thee.
I'm exaggerating a little bitabout the...
It's not that small. Not...
Okay, here's somethingwe can all relate to.
If my penis were, say,an annual salary,
$47,000 a year...
That's pretty good.
$47,000's plenty, ladies,
if you just, uh, tighten upyour budget.
Have a tight budget.
Don't just have a loose,skanky-ass budget, you know?