Jeff Ross - Answering Machines

Season 1 , Ep 0101 07/17/02 Views: 4,721

Long answering machine messages are annoying. (1:23)

>> I'm not like other comedians.

I just want you to know that

right now.

I tend to start out slow and

then get fired.

( laughter )

I bought a new answering machine

today.

Man, that was kind of weird.

I feel pressure to make a funny

message.

The only thing worse or more

annoying that a funny message is

when people have long, boring,

drawn-out messages.

You know what I mean?

"We're not home.

Leave your name, number, the

time you ca..." does anybody

here seriously not know what to

do?

( laughter )

Are people leaving other data

instead?

"Yo, man, call me back right

away.

My address is 1515 Broadway.

My favorite food is corn.

My favorite movie is Fast Times

at Ridgemont High.

Call me back.

I love to collect acorns.

Virgo, Virgo!

O-positive!

Call me back!"

You ever hear this one?

You ever hear this one?

Here's the most annoying one.

"Speak clearly after the tone."

( speaking gibberish )

( coughing )

"Hey, Phil, guess what happened.

You wouldn't believe it.

Wa-wa-wa-wa, wa-wa-wa-wa-wa."

That's right, Phil, Charlie

Brown's teacher died."

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