Jeff Ross - Answering Machines

Jeff Ross Season 1, Ep 1 07/17/1996 Views: 4,837

Long answering machine messages are annoying. (1:23)

>> I'm not like other comedians.

I just want you to know that

right now.

I tend to start out slow and

then get fired.

( laughter )

I bought a new answering machine


Man, that was kind of weird.

I feel pressure to make a funny


The only thing worse or more

annoying that a funny message is

when people have long, boring,

drawn-out messages.

You know what I mean?

"We're not home.

Leave your name, number, the

time you ca..." does anybody

here seriously not know what to


( laughter )

Are people leaving other data


"Yo, man, call me back right


My address is 1515 Broadway.

My favorite food is corn.

My favorite movie is Fast Times

at Ridgemont High.

Call me back.

I love to collect acorns.

Virgo, Virgo!


Call me back!"

You ever hear this one?

You ever hear this one?

Here's the most annoying one.

"Speak clearly after the tone."

( speaking gibberish )

( coughing )

"Hey, Phil, guess what happened.

You wouldn't believe it.

Wa-wa-wa-wa, wa-wa-wa-wa-wa."

That's right, Phil, Charlie

Brown's teacher died."