Tig Notaro - Running Magazines

Kreischer, Notaro, Ryan, Earthquake Season 4, Ep 411 02/03/2001 Views: 4,072

Couldn't one issue of a running magazine cover everything? (1:36)

AND, UM, SEEMS LIKE ONE ISSUE

COULD KINDA COVER EVERYTHING.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT EVERY MONTH SHE KEEPS

READING IT, AND SENDS IN MONEY

FOR THE NEXT ISSUE, AND FINALLY

THEY CONTACTED HER.

THEY WERE LIKE, "LOOK.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO TELL

YA.

(LAUGHTER)

I GUESS JUST KEEP RUNNING."

(LAUGHTER)

(LAUGHS)

SO I GUESS I HAVE TO HEAD OUT OF

HERE.

I HAVE A CAT AT HOME.

SHE'S AN INDOOR CAT.

SHE'S NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE.

SHE HAS NO IDEA THAT THERE'S

EVEN AN OUTDOORS.

SHE THINKS THAT WHEN I LEAVE FOR

THE DAY I'M JUST STANDING ON THE

OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR FOR 12

HOURS.

THEN I JUST COME BACK INSIDE.

BUT SHE'S A LOW-MAINTENANCE CAT.

SHE SLEEPS ALL THE TIME.

ALL DAY LONG SHE'S SLEEPING,

AND ALL NIGHT LONG SHE'S

SLEEPING.

AND THEN ONE DAY IT DAWNED ON ME

THAT...

(LAUGHTER)

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GO AHEAD

AND PUT HER TO SLEEP.

I THINK THAT'S WHAT SHE WOULD

WANT.

(LAUGHTER)

IF SHE HAD THE ENERGY,

SHE'D SAY, "PUT ME DOWN.

I'M EXHAUSTED."