Richard Lewis - Stoned Friend

Mike Macdonald & William Coronel Season 1, Ep 0125 02/24/1992 Views: 607

Richard's friend smoked a lot of grass in college. (1:43)

MY BUDDY, HE SAYS,"CAN I COME TO THE..."

MY FRIEND WHO'S GETTING MARRIEDFOR THE EIGHTH TIME

HE ASKED ME HOW LONGHE CAN STAY.

AND I SAID, "WELL, I DON'T KNOW,HOW LONG DO YOU WANT TO STAY?"

BECAUSE THE WEDDING'S, LIKE,IN EIGHT MONTHS.

SO HE SAYS, "WELL, I FIGURED I'DSTAY TILL THE MESSIAH COMES."

OH, GEE, YOU KNOW...THAT JUST... IT'S A LONG...

YEAH, I THINK HE'S EVOLVED.

I'M NOT SURE IFHE'S A MOBSTER OR...

WHAT'S A JEWISH MOBSTER?I DON'T EVEN...

"I'M GOING TO BREAK THE LEGSOF YOUR THERAPISTS

THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO."

BUT IN COLLEGE--THE REASON I'M PARANOID...

HEY, KIDS, SAFE SEX, NO DRUGS

BUT HE SMOKED A LOT OF GRASSBACK IN COLLEGE

BECAUSE WE'RE TALKING THE '60s,AND, UH...

I MEAN, THIS IS A GUYWHO IN INTRAMURALS

ACTUALLY WAS LIKE... HE GOT SMACKED DURING A TACKLE

AND WALKED OFF THE FIELD ANDHE WAS COMPLAINING OF CLARITY.

THAT'S HOW WHACKED OUTTHIS GUY WAS.

( laughter )

HE WOULD DRIVETO THE FRATERNITY HOUSES

AND HE PUT VISINE INTHE HEADLIGHTS OF HIS CAR

BECAUSE THE CARDIDN'T KNOW WHERE...

( laughter )

AND THOSE MIRRORSTHAT YOU WENT...

"IS THAT JULIUS CAESAR?"

HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT THOSEOBJECTS WERE IN HIS MIRROR.

I MEAN, HE WAS OUT OF HIS MIND.

BUT HE WOULD DRIVE LIKEABOUT A MILE AN HOUR.

I MEAN, HIS CAR WOULD TIPPY-TOE.

HE WAS SO STONED ALL THE TIME.

HE ACTUALLY ONE TIME--

THAT'S WHEN I KNEW DRUGSWERE LIKE, YOU KNOW--

AND AGAIN, KIDS,ON THE A LIST NO DRUGS--

BUT HE ACTUALLY, HE WOULDBRAKE FOR THE HORIZON.

THAT'S HOW STONED HE WAS.

( laughter )

SO... FORGET ABOUT IT.

NOW I WANT TO BRING OUTNOW SOMEBODY