I learned, man.Women, you guys got it easier
through breakups, dude.You do.
Because you got girlfriends
to help youthrough the breakup.
They talk you through it.
You have littlebreakup meetings.
Your girlfriends come over.
You're like,"Staci's breaking up.
"You get the wine,
"I'll get the Sarah McLachlan.
"Form a circle around her,
she's vulnerable right now."
And then they talk youthrough it, like,
"Listen, girl,it wasn't the right time, okay?
"You guys arein different places.
"Maybe you'll come back togetherin a year, like The Notebook.
"You never knowwhat's gonna happen.
"But for right now,you need your space.
You need some space."
That's how women break up.
"I need space."
That's 'cause they don't havethe balls to end it.
So they just drag us alongfor a little while,
because they're manipulativeabout it.
Us, we break up with you,we're a little meaner about it,
but at least you knowwhat the breakup's about
and it happens when we say it.
We're at dinner with you
and you're chewingwith your mouth open.
You got some corn stuckin your teeth.
And we're like, "I'm not dealingwith that shit anymore.
Not you guys. You go,
"I need some space."
What you'll do is break upwith us in your head
six months before...
and then spendthe next six months
plotting your exit.
And in that six months,
you try to reverse the problemin the relationship
to make us feel likeit was our fault why it ended,
so that you can leaveguilt-free.
And in those six months,
you prod us and you start fights
and you mess with usuntil we finally blow up
and scream,and then you're like,
"You have an anger problem.
"I need some space right now.
"You always overreact.
"All I did was butter knife stabyour dog two times
"and you overreactlike you always do.
And I need some spaceright now."
And this is what "space"means...
I've figured outwhat "space" means.
This is what "space" means,guys.
It means, "I need you
"to continue to talk to me
"until I find someone new.