Joe Mande - Zagat Rated Stickers & Vegansexuals

Joe Mande Season 1, Ep 9 06/08/2012 Views: 5,766

Joe Mande explains how he feels when he sees a Zagat Rated sticker on a restaurant and reveals why no one wants to have sex with a vegan. (1:54)

Do you guys like food?

Yeah, we canget on board for food.

I, uh, I'm on the road a lot,and the only way

I know I'm going intoa halfway decent restaurant

is if I see that little redsticker on the front door

of a restaurant that says"Zagat Rated."

It's very comforting, you know?

You're like,"Oh, Zagat rated it. How nice."

But they never saywhat the rating is.

Which I find odd.

That's like going into a bar,wearing a T-shirt

you made for yourselfthat just says "AIDS tested."

And you're all cocky about it,like, "What up!"

Girls coming up to you like,"What were the results?"

You're all like, (scoffs)"Results don't matter."

"It's just an honorbeing tested."

Any vegans in the house?Any vegans?

(laughs) Silence!

Either there are no vegans,or they passed out

'cause they're anemic.

Passed out likehalf an hour ago.

I saw this hilarious news storyon TV recently

about vegansexuals.

Have you guys heard that term?I did not make that up.

That is a real thing.

A vegansexual,according to this news story,

is a vegan who's decidedhe or she

is only gonna have sexwith other vegans.


And when I saw that, I was like,"Oh, that's weird,"

'cause I thought we alreadyhad a word for that,

and it was "vegans."


No one wants to have sexwith a vegan. Like I've never...

I've never been at a bar andbeen like, "Oh, dude, look,

that girl is only eatingcabbage and almonds."

(chuckles) "Bet shesmells great down there."