Demetri Martin - Jets?

  • Season 8 , Ep 15
  • 03/18/2004
  • Views: 125,521

Demetri Martin is unconvinced by the prestige of Employee of the Month. (1:24)

COLOGNE RHYMES WITH ALONE.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

IF I HAVE TO MOVE UP IN

A BUILDING, I CHOOSE THE

ELEVATOR OVER THE ESCALATOR,

BECAUSE ONE TIME I WAS RIDING

THE ESCALATOR AND I TRIPPED.

I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS FOR AN

HOUR AND A HALF, JUST KEPT

FALLING.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THANKS.

THANKS, EVERYBODY.

I THINK EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

IS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF WHEN

A PERSON CAN BE A WINNER AND

A LOSER AT THE SAME TIME.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I LIKE SPORTS.

I LIKE PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL.

I LIKE TO GO--

[AUDIENCE SCREAMS]

YEAH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I LIKE TO GET TO THE STADIUM.

I LIKE TO GET TO THE STADIUM

AND SEE THE GAMES LIVE,

YOU KNOW.

AND I PAINT MY CHEST BEFORE

I LEAVE THE HOUSE.

BUT I DON'T HAVE THAT MANY

FRIENDS, YOU KNOW, SO I USUALLY

JUST DO PUNCTUATION AND LIKE

TACK ON A GROUP ALREADY IN

PROGRESS.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT SOMETIMES LIKE--

BUT SOMETIMES IT WORKS OUT KIND

OF WEIRD, 'CUZ WE ENDED UP ON TV

ONE TIME.

AND IT SAID, "JETS?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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