Freddy Soto - Afraid of Adjectives

  • Season 7 , Ep 12
  • 05/01/2003
  • Views: 9,561

Politically correct people say they're part of the human race. (2:19)

Freddy Soto: YOU GOT TO HAVE

FUN, MAN.

PEOPLE ARE NOW STARTING

THE POLITICALLY CORRECT THING,

YOU KNOW?

"WE'RE ALL JUST PEOPLE.

I'M IN THE HUMAN RACE."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE'RE ALL JUST

PEOPLE?

YOU'RE SCARED OF ADJECTIVES,

MAN?

YOU CAN'T DESCRIBE EACH OTHER

ANYMORE?

WHAT IS THAT, MAN?

I'M PROUD OF WHO I AM.

IT'S THE DIFFERENCES THAT MAKE

US SPECIAL.

DON'T EVER TAKE IT AWAY FROM

EACH OTHER.

(CHEERS, WHISTLES, APPLAUSE)

THAT'S--

ARE YOU TELLING ME IF YOU HAVE

A FRIEND WITH A WOODEN LEG

YOU'RE NEVER GONNA TALK ABOUT

IT?

THAT'S NOT A FRIEND, MAN.

IF HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE,

YOU KICK IT OUT FROM UNDER HIM.

(LAUGHTER)

HE'LL REMEMBER THAT FOR

100 YEARS I GUARANTEE YA.

YEAH, TAKE IT AWAY FROM HIM

WHEN HE'S SWIMMING.

HE'LL GO IN A CIRCLE LIKE THAT.

(LAUGHTER)

"NO, FREDDY, WE'RE ALL JUST

PEOPLE.

DON'T SAY SUCH THINGS."

GOOD, I HOPE YOU GET MUGGED,

RIGHT?

THEN WE'LL SEE HOW SENSITIVE

YOU ARE, RIGHT?

"WHO MUGGED YOU?"

"OH, IT WAS A PERSON."

(LAUGHTER)

"WHAT'D HE LOOK LIKE?"

"JUST PEOPLE, REALLY."

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

NO, TRUST ME.

THEY'LL HAVE A LABEL FOR YOU AND

YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO.

"WHO MUGGED YOU?"

"OH, MY GOD, IT WAS A MEXICAN

GANG-BANGER.

(LAUGHTER)

HE HAD A BIG TATTOO OF THE

VIRGIN MARY GUADELOUPE ON HIS

THROAT.

(APPLAUSE)

THERE WERE 16 PEOPLE IN HIS

CAR...

AND 12 MORE ON THE HOOD.

ALL THE BABIES WERE IN

THE BACK SEAT.

ALL THE WOMEN WERE HAVING BABIES

AND MORE BABIES AND THEY WERE

OUT SELLING CHICLETS.

EVERY ONE OF THEM HAD A

LEAF BLOWER AND A LAWNMOWER.

THERE WAS A LITTLE DOG THAT

SPOKE SPANISH AND HE WAS SELLING

TACOS FOR 99 CENTS.

(LAUGHTER AND CHEERING)

THEY WERE DRIVING A CHEVY WITH

A MALIBU DOOR.

AND THEY HAD MATTRESSES ON TOP

OF THEIR CAR.

NO ROPE.

EVERYBODY WAS JUST HOLDING ON

WITH ONE ARM.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

OH, MY GOD."

(CHEERS AND WHISTLES)

"WHAT COLOR WAS THE CAR?"

"PRIMER."

(LAUGHTER)

Loading...