I grew up in the projects, and
in the middle of our projectsthey build a homeless shelter.
And we used to tease the kidsthat lived in the shelter
'cause they was the only peoplewe knew poorer than us.
And we thought somehow theywere messing up our property
value by being homeless likethis.
I had a friend that livedin the shelter named
Homeless Dave and... wehad another Dave so...
[LAUGHTER]
That's what happens if yougrow up really poor and you
have a common name, we pickthe worst part of your life
and make it your new nickname.
Like, I had a friend we usedto call Robocop for years
because he wore braceson his legs...
[LAUGHTER]
and he walked likeRobocop to us.
It's messed up. Itwasn't his real name.
His real name was Crippled Greg
but we called himRobocop... 'cause...
I don't know.
I was in the hoodrecently and I, uh,
I walked into this bodega andI heard this dude yell out,
"nah, son, get theFiji! Evian is gross!"
I laughed for, like, threedays after that, man.
That's how dope it is to bean American.
Our poor people have specificwater tastes.
All our poor people gotcamera phones.
My nephew's got a cameraphone.
He's ten years old whichsucks for him because I can't
imagine what it must belike for him to go through
a fifth grade math class witha device in his pocket that
could answer all of life'squestions for him...
and show him pictures oftitties in high definition.
You want this kid to payattention in class, really?
He doesn't have attentiondeficit, he's got,
he's got titties in hispocket, is what he's got.
That's why he can't focus,man.
That's too much technologyfor a kid, man.
The closest thing I had to acamera phone when I was ten
was a calculator and I'd sit