Right no we want to announce thefinalists for "Roast Battle II."
Are you ready?- Yes.
"War of the Words!"
- We saw battlers in Atlanta,Denver, New York,
and Los Angeles.
Are you ready to find out?
Some of them are inthe room right now.
[cheers and applause]
We have the sweet 16 goingto the finals.
Who's the first one, Brian?
- We'll start withthe New York people.
From New York,you got Yamaneika Saunders.
- J.P. is from Newtown,Connecticut,
where the Sandy Hook tragedyhappened,
and the worst thing to happento that town
is that he wasn't seven yearsold at the time of the shooting.
- Also for the New Yorkregionals,
Mr. Scott Chaplain,everybody.
- Before Netflix existed,"Making a Murderer"
was just Eli's parents'called fucking.
- The beast from the East, ZacAmico is going to the finals.
- The only recipe Evan's motherever left him
was her toxicology reportafter she OD'd.
- Also from the New Yorkregionals, very funny dude,
Give it up for him.
- Zac recently did a showat a nudist colony.
Well, it was a nudist colony.
Now it's a PTSD support group.
- From the Midwest regionalin Denver,
Jay Light is goingto the finals.
- I'm really excited to beat upa black guy.
I'll finally make the front pageof "Worldstar."
- Also from the L.A. regionalsright here,
- You look like Macaulay Culkinwas left home alone for,
like, 20 more years.
- Another badass, Mr. Joe Doschis going to the finals.
- Alex is so ugly when he goesto a glory hole,
the guy on the other side wantsto just be friends.
- Our next guy, I don't thinkhe deserves it,
but I got over-voted,so fuck it.
Alex Hooper, everybody.
- Joe looks like he wouldorder soup at a sports bar.
- From Orange County--he's as round as an orange--
Keith Carey's goingto the finals.
- Anna's just jealousbecause my body is shaped
like the eggsshe can no longer produce.
- Another L.A. favorite,one of my favorites,
Anna Valenzuela's here tonight.
Take a bow, Anna.
- Keith just thinks I'm old'cause I'm four years past
his life expectancy.
- Also from L.A., he works righthere at The Comedy Store,
Frank Castillo is goingto the finals.
- Greg's Mexican familydoesn't get along with
his new girlfriendbecause they all pick fruit
and she picked a vegetable.
- One more time,we're gonna bring back
the great Olivia Grace,everybody.
- Leah's brother killed himself,
which explains why her titsare always at half-mast.
- Also just had a half houron Comedy Central,
the very handsomeMr. Matthew Broussard
is in the finals!
- Fun fact: the elevator scenefrom "The Shining"
was actually based onthe last time he tried to floss.
- Very awesome, very hilarious,Emmy-winning writer
Mr. Kurt Metzger is inthe competition.
She's sharp, she's loud,
she's the headlinerfrom New York,
Jessica Kirson is going to the finals.
- This next comedianhas been busting my balls
my entire career.
Now he thinks he haswhat it takes
to enter my roast battle arena:
the great, legendary comedianMr. Todd Barry is in the ring!
That is our sweet 16!
The tournament starts January 26th
on Comedy Central.
"War of the Words!"