When your childis in any sport,
the team mom,or in this case,
a very scaryMexican gang member,
has prepared a documentto determine
what familyis responsible
for snackon any given game day.
He's laid his out perfectlyin Microsoft Word tables.
He left-justifiedall of his text.
He didn't gowith a gothic-y cholo font
like you'd expect him to.
He used Arial,
like we all should.
He centered his header,he imported some clip art,
and he was very proud of it,so we found ourselves--he--
"I prepared a snack list."
"Check it out,
my snack list."
So me and my wifefound ourselves
in that great couple moment
where you're holding handstrying not to laugh
at somebodyright in front of you,
doing the Morse codehand squeeze,
going, "Cholo made a snack list.Cholo made a snack list.
"Don't laugh at the cholo.Don't laugh at the cholo.
"Oh, my God.Cholo made a snack list.
So proud of it."
Now, if you're a young coupledoing this for the first time,
this snack thing,and you have kids in any sport,
you want to goat the beginning of the season
when expectations are low.
You bringsome Teddy Grahams,
some Capri Suns, fruit,you brown bag it.
Wanna go the extra mile?Freeze a Go-Gurt.
They [bleep] love that.
What happensis you wait too long,
then in the middleof the season,
some asshole with disposableincome brings Happy Meals,
ruins it for the restof the families yet to go.
Then by the endof the season,
you're forced to bring pizza,a DJ, and a stripper.
And everybody'sstill complaining.
They're like,"Are these songs fast to you?
She seems older."