Gary Gulman - Meltdown at Trader Joe's Pt. 2

  • Season 4 , Ep 5
  • 08/23/2013
  • Views: 10,519

Gary Gulman's grocery store standoff does not get the groundswell of support that he was hoping for. (2:18)

She pushed me in the basketand went ahead.

And I'm standing there.I'm like,

"Is somebody going to dosomething about this?"

And then I realizedI was old enough and big enough

to do somethingon my own.

So I took a stand,

which consistedof raising my fist

'68 Mexican Olympic-style.

Completely inappropriate.

And then my slogan was:

This isn't fair!

Thinking it would starta groundswell of support

and the people would rallybehind me and chant, "U.S.A."

Silence. Silence.

Except for a guy behind mewho said, "Oh, here we go."

And then-- Then there wasthis eerie glow,

as the peopleraised their phones

and switchedfrom pic to vid.

And I-- I--I would have backed down,

except the womanwho cut me,

after I said,"This isn't fair,"

she turns aroundand she says,

"You'll get over it."

Thereby ensuring

that I would neverget over it.

I will never-- I know myself.I'll never get over it.

So I-- I picked up my basketand I jabbed faked left,

and she bit.

So I crossed overto get the base line on her,

and she was surprised.

She spun and rammed mein the basket,

crushing my lentil chips,rendering them useless,

because they're for dipping,not for topping.

Now at this pointI'm out of my mind with rage.

And I scream, "That's assault!That is assault!

Ring the bell!I've been struck!"

And that-- That is whenshe realized

she had beenout-crazied.

And she startedher retreat.

But she got a couple of digsin on me at the end.

She said, uh,"Fine, fine, go ahead of me

if it's thatimportant to you."

It is.

If what'sthat important to me?

Justice?

Yeah, it's that importantto me.

"But you should know--"She says, "You should know"

"that you're allowedto leave your cart

"in New York City.

That's how it works."

Yeah. No.

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