Alonzo Bodden - Hate

CC Presents: Alonzo Bodden Season 9, Ep 22 07/07/2005 Views: 8,522

It's hard to remember who to hate. (1:59)

TIMES ARE HARD NOW, MAN.

IT'S WEIRD OUR WHOLE POLITICAL

CLIMATE, MAN, CONSERVATIVES IN

CHARGE.

I DON'T LIKE CONSERVATIVES, MAN.

I DON'T.

NO, I DON'T LIKE THEM.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YOU KNOW WHY?

'CAUSE CONSERVATIVES ALWAYS

TALK ABOUT AMERICA IN THE

GOOD OL' DAYS.

BRING BACK THE GOOD OL' DAYS.

I'M BLACK.

[LAUGHTER]

WE DON'T HAVE GOOD OL' DAYS.

WHAT YOU THINK, BLACK PEOPLE

SITTING AROUND LIKE, "OH, MAN,

REMEMBER THE BACK OF THE BUS?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

OH, YOU COULD ALWAYS FIND A SEAT

IN THE BACK OF THE BUS."

AND THEY'RE ALWAYS PREACHING

HATE, MAN.

THAT'S THE THING.

WE'RE MAD AT EVERYBODY.

WE HATE THIS GROUP.

I GET SO CONFUSED, MAN,

I'M SERIOUS.

I DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE

ANYMORE.

I CAN NOT KEEP UP, RIGHT?

LIKE I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO HATE

IRAQIS, RIGHT, AND I'M COOL

WITH THAT, YOU KNOW.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT THERE'S SOME THINGS ABOUT

THE WAR I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

FOR EXAMPLE, WE TOOK OVER

AN OIL-PRODUCING COUNTRY.

WHY IS THE PRICE OF GAS GOING

UP?

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?

REALLY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

GAY PEOPLE?

GAY PEOPLE EVIL 'CAUSE

GAY PEOPLE WANT TO GET MARRIED.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE

BIG ISSUE IS 'CAUSE I DON'T SEE

HOW THAT AFFECTS ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

REALLY.

IF YOU'RE GAY, YOU WANT TO GET

MARRIED?

GO AHEAD.

THAT DON'T AFFECT ME.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH CAME OUT

AGAINST GAY MARRIAGE.

THEY SUPPOSE GAY MARRIAGE IS

IMMORAL.

I'M THINKING, "DON'T YOU GUYS

HAVE SOME PROBLEMS OF YOUR OWN

TO WORK OUT?"

I MEAN, REALLY.

'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW IT'S

GONNA WORK WHEN JUDGMENT DAY

COMES.

BUT IF IT'S LIKE, I DON'T KNOW,

LIKE DMV, RIGHT, AND THEY HAVE

DIFFERENT LINES DEPENDING ON

WHAT YOU DID.

I'D RATHER BE IN THE "GAY PEOPLE

GET MARRIED" LINE THAN IN THE

"I TOUCHED LITTLE BOYS" LINE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]