Kyle Kinane - At the Movies

Kyle Kinane: Whiskey Icarus Season 1, Ep 101 11/24/2012 Views: 10,315

It's never hard to find an uptight white person at a movie theater. (1:39)

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There's a stereotypethat black people

like to talkin movie theaters.

There's a stereotypethat white people are uptight.

Kind of proved that onewhen I said that thing

about black people, and nobodyknew if they could laugh or not.

If you're black and you're here,please do this.

Sit next to the most uptightwhite person

you can findin the movie theater.

Not tough to do.

Like, single guys at the movies.Oh, the worst.

See those guys who are like,

"No, you sit two down,you sit three down.

No. Gay buffer.Gay buffer."

"Oh, yeah. "Good thingyou did that,

"'cause I was totallywaiting for Transformers 3

"to, uh, [bleep] you.

"Now I can't...'cause of the seats.

"Now I can't blow youduring Transformers 3

because ofyour elaborate scheme."

Sit right next to that dude,

and watch him already, like,

"Well, there's plenty--

I put those seats herefor a reason."

And then say somethingduring the movie,

but say something that's gonnablow the white dude's mind.

That's how you twist it.You like, you wait until,

like, the action gets rightat the--at the pinnacle,

then you justblurt something out like,

"This reminds meof Woody Allen's earlier work!"

And he's just like--

[laughter]

"That's exactly whatI was thinking," you know?

Really let him have it.

"This lighting is reminiscentof Kurosawa's."

"Can we go to the moviesall the time?"

I think between that

and a qualityspicy mayonnaise...

we're not gonna solve racism,

but we're gonna shave someof the sharp edges off of it.

[cheers and applause]