#HashtagWars - #ImVotingBecause

Monday, November 7, 2016 11/07/2016 Views: 317

Johnathan Fernandez, Alice Wetterlund and Jordan Rock offer up their reasons for voting in the 2016 presidential election. (2:00)

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it's timefor tonight's #HashtagWars.

(cheering)

This may not comeas any surprise to you,

but this year'spresidential nominees

are the least popularof all time.

One of the main thingspeople are saying is that, uh,

they're gonna be votingfor the lesser of two evils.

But if we votefor the lesser of two evils,

we still end up with-- an evil.

-(laughter)-Uh...

but there haveto be better reasons

for electing the next presidentof our United States of America.

That's why tonight's hashtag is#ImVotingBecause.

And it's very important,you need to get out and vote,

you need to get out and voteor you can't (bleep) complain.

-(cheering, applause)-That's it. You can't...

you don't get to complain.

It is...

it is our right as Americansto bitch

as long as you vote.

As long as you vote,you can bitch all you want.

So, examples might be-- I wantto feel superior to teens,

or, I'm gonna use that "I voted"sticker to cover a scar.

I put 60 seconds on the clock,and begin.

-Johnathan. -I'm votingbecause I look like this.

-All right, points.-(laughter, whooping, applause)

Alice.

-Wait, when is it?-Uh, points.

-Uh, Johnathan.-I'm voting because if I don't,

my 12 Years a Slave screenplay book club

-would be very upset with me.-All right, points.

Alice Wetterlund.

Um, I heard 3Kand an "I voted" sticker

-gets you into Hamilton. -All right, points.

-Jordan.-I'm voting because feminism

is the new patriarchy,and I'm here for it.

-WETTERLUND: Whoo!-All right, points.

-Alice Wetterlund.-Okay, okay, I'm voting

because there's a differencebetween unpopular and evil.

-All right. Points.-Okay.

-(applause)-Jordan.

I'm voting because these fingersare not for picking,

-they're for rolling, okay?Um... -All right, points.

-(applause)-Johnathan.

I'm voting becauseI have Tuesday off, so...

Yeah, okay, points.Yeah, (bleep). Come on.

Yeah, Jordan.

I'm voting becausemy Mexican mechanic

said he'd give me a dealif I did.

HARDWICK:All right, points.

Points. Alice.

Uh, I like sayingI did a civic duty.

HARDWICK:Yes, points.

(laughing):You, good answer.