Mike Lawrence - Progressive City

Mike Lawrence, Andy Zaltzman, Kurt Braunohler, David O'Doherty Season 3, Ep 4 08/10/2012 Views: 21,375

Mike Lawrence describes the three New York stories. (1:59)

Watch Full Episode

It is a great city.

We are a progressive city.

We have eliminated both carsand English. It's great.

But I hate when peopledo this, when they go,

"New York City, eight millionpeople, eight million stories.

There's three New Yorkstories, all right?

There's "I moved here," "I livedhere all my life"

and "Ghostbusters."


I worked at McDonald'sfor seven years and...

please don't clap at that.

If you clap at that, theywon.

Well, I worked there forseven years and I remember

someone was like, "you know,that job is designed for

someone that'll only bethere for two months."

I was like, "yeah, I beatthe [bleep] system."

I remember one time, one of myfriends was like, "hey, man,

"could you put in a good wordfor me over at the McDonald's?"

I was like, "I couldtell them you're alive...

"if that's what you want."

My mom wants to manage mycomedy career now and

I was like, "all right, Mom, whydon't you give me some notes?"

And one of her notes was"you should smile more.

"You have an angel's mouth."

I feel I should manage mymom at helping her write

pickup lines for pedophiles...


in the wooing phase.

"Come on, angel mouth.

"Keep lookin' at me withthem rainbow eyes."

Did I get you with that?I'm sorry.

I don't know how to aim.

I am in a relationship. It'sbeen going pretty well.