Laura Kightlinger - Love and Sex

Season 1 05/27/97 Views: 3,834

Laura has an excuse to avoid anal sex. (2:37)

You know, I really feel amazing

tonight.

I mean, I know that sounds like

something I'm just saying, but I

started these things--this

friend of mine's into all this

holistic stuff, and she gave me

these energy crystals.

And what they are is--they're

crystals that you grind into a

powder, and then you blow them

up your nose.

[laughter]

And it's incredible.

I feel like I could talk all

night, I really--

[laughter]

And I will.

♪ Let's start at

♪ the beginning.

That's the beginning song, and

it's not ready yet because I've

had about 60 different ideas

about how it should go.

I tend to get a little

distracted when it comes to

focusing on what I want.

That's why I have to keep my

wishes and my dreams in one

place.

I keep them in here.

This is my wish box.

And this, yet to come, is my

dream house.

I've been looking for a place in

L.A. to buy, and I've had to ask

myself a lot of grown-up

questions like, "Are there

enough outlets?"

"Is there enough closet space?"

And if need be, "Is there enough

room here for a mass suicide?"

I feel as if the universe, the

spirits--everything is

converging to make it my--my

year, actually.

I'm in love.

I have a man in my life who's

very--he is so special.

He--this guy, he kisses me

before we do it.

[laughter and applause]

Whenever I'm intimate with

someone and, you know, or in

love--you know, and you're in

the moment or whatever--I try to

think, what is the last thing

that I want to hear come

shooting out of their mouth

at me?

And it's always this:

"Have you ever had anal sex?"

[laughter and applause]

And I'm sick of fighting it.

I'm sick of, like, having them

say why it would be so great and

me saying why it would not be so

great.

So I've just decided this is my

excuse; this is what I say.

"You know, it's not that I don't

want you to; the honest-to-God

truth is, it's haunted.

[laughter]

I've got to be honest with you,

the last person who went back

there vanished.

Nothing left but a chipped tooth

and a bloody eyeball."

The great thing about this wish

box is, I will not limit myself

with what I put in here.

I've got everything in here.

I've got a newspaper clipping, a

lock of human hair, a

fingernail, a drop of blood.

And the next thing you know, the

person who hurt me isn't

feeling so well.

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