Jimmy Dore - Queer for Jude Law

  • Season 8 , Ep 20
  • 04/08/2004
  • Views: 1,343

Jimmy Dore never had homosexual feelings until he saw Jude Law. (1:31)

BUT BEFORE I GO, LET ME MAKE

A LITTLE CONFESSION, AS LONG

AS WE'RE HERE I SAW THIS MOVIE

ABOUT THREE OR FOUR YEARS AGO,

MAYBE YOU REMEMBER IT.

IT'S CALLED THE TALENTED

MR. RIPLEY.

IT STARRED MATT DAMON.

WELL, YOU REMEMBER THE OTHER

GUY IN THAT MOVIE, JUDE LAW?

WELL, EVER SINCE I SAW THAT

MOVIE, I THINK I COULD BE QUEER

FOR HIM.

[LAUGHTER]

I KNOW.

AND I HAVE NEVER HAD A

HOMOSEXUAL FEELING IN MY LIFE

THAT I HAVE EVER ACKNOWLEDGED.

[LAUGHTER]

I MEAN, HE WAS BEAUTIFUL.

HE WAS PRETTIER THAN THE GIRLS

IN THAT MOVIE.

AND IT CAUGHT ME BY SURPRISE.

I'M WATCHIN' THE MOVIE AND I

FIND MYSELF GOIN', "I WONDER

WHAT HE'S GONNA WEAR IN THE NEXT

SCENE.

[LAUGHTER]

I HOPE IT'S LINEN.

OOH, IT'S A PANCAKE HAT AND A

SCOOTER!

FRICKIN' HOT, THIS GUY!"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND I KEPT IT INSIDE, MY OWN

LITTLE DIRTY SECRET, FOR YEARS.

THEN FINALLY A FEW MONTHS AGO,

I WAS AT LUNCH WITH MY BEST

FRIEND TIM.

I WAS LIKE I GOTTA TELL

SOMEBODY, GET IT OFF MY CHEST.

I GO, "TIM, I GOTTA TELL YOU

SOMETHIN'.

I THINK I COULD BE QUEER FOR

THAT GUY JUDE LAW."

[LAUGHTER]

HE GOES, "OH, I FEEL THE SAME

WAY ABOUT BRAD PITT."

[LAUGHTER]

AND I WAS LIKE, "BRAD PITT.

THAT'S SO CLICHé."

[LAUGHTER]

HE SAYS, "NO, DID YOU SEE HIM IN

THELMA AND LOUISE?"

I GO, "YOU KNOW, I NEVER DID SEE

THAT MOVIE."

HE GOES, "HE WAS BEAUTIFUL IN

THAT MOVIE."

[LAUGHTER]

I GO, "MAYBE I JUST DON'T LIKE

BLONDES."

THEN I THOUGHT, "WHAT THE HELL

ARE WE TALKIN' ABOUT?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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