Anthony Griffith - Baptist

Matarese, Anderson, Rouse, Griffith Season 7, Ep 4 12/05/2003 Views: 5,182

Anthony Griffith was jealous of Catholics growing up. (2:00)

BORN AND RAISED IN--

YEAH.

I LOVE GOING HOME WHEN I CAN,

AND I GREW UP IN A FAIRLY

RELIGIOUS HOUSEHOLD.

I GREW UP BAPTIST, SO I WAS IN

CHURCH ALL DAY ON SUNDAY.

I WANTED TO BE A CATHOLIC SO BAD

WHEN I WAS GROWING UP BECAUSE

CATHOLICS GET IN AND OUT.

ONE HOUR MEANS ONE HOUR

TO A CATHOLIC.

I'VE SEEN CATHOLICS RIOT

AFTER HOUR, "HEY, HEY, COME ON."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S TRUE.

Y'ALL DON'T PLAY.

I HAD CATHOLIC FRIENDS WHO WOULD

COME OVER AND SAY, "HEY, GRIFF,

YOU WANT TO PLAY SOME FOOTBALL?"

"I GOTTA GO TO CHURCH."

"WE'LL PLAY WHEN YOU GET OUT."

"UH-UH, I'M BAPTIST.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU WON'T SEE ME UNTIL MONDAY."

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S WHAT I WAS RAISED ON.

CHURCH AND GOLD TEETH, 'CAUSE MY

FAMILY'S ORIGINALLY FROM DOWN

SOUTH AND GOLD TEETH ARE

OUR STATUS SYMBOLS DOWN SOUTH,

SO EVERYBODY IN MY FAMILY HAS

GOLD TEETH.

SOME HAVE BARELY GOT TEETH

GOT GOLD TEETH.

I GOT AN UNCLE HE HAS FO' TEETH,

ALL IN GOLD.

FO', NOT FOUR, FO'.

FOUR IS WHEN THEY ALTOGETHER.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

HE GOT FO'.

SO NOW I'M TRYING TO RAISE THE

THIRD GENERATION OF DYSFUNCTION

IN MY FAMILY, MY 17 YEAR-OLD

COUSIN, WHICH IS HARD.

HE'S A TEENAGER AND HE'S 6'7".

SO HE SWEAR HE'S GOD'S GIFT

TO MANKIND.

HE'S ALWAYS LIFTING WEIGHTS

AT NIGHT LIKE HE'S IN LOCKDOWN.

I WAS TRYING TO GAUGE HOW STRONG

I AM.

"HEY, MAN, HOW MUCH CAN YOU

BENCH PRESS?"

"I DON'T KNOW."

"HOW MANY PUSHUPS CAN YOU DO?"

"I DON'T KNOW."

"YOU WANT TO WRESTLE?"

"NO."

"WERE YOU SCARED, YOU SCARED

OF THESE GUNS?"

"IF I WAS SCARED OF YOU, I WOULD

CHOKE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]