TO BE NERVOUS.

I'M THE ONE WHO'S ABOUTTO PROPOSE TO MY GIRLFRIEND.

- WHAT?- A LIFELONG COMMITMENT.

- YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?

- I DON'T JOKE ABOUT LOVE,ANDERS.

- [correcting] ON-DERS.

- I USED TO CUT MYSELF

TO DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL.

I LOVE LOVE, OKAY?

- UM, HERE'S A JOKE.

WHAT DID THREE GIRLS SAYTO THE ONE DUDE?

- SO YOU, LIKE, REALLY LOVE HER.THAT'S COOL.

- EHH, WELL, SHE'S REALLYTHE ONLY CHICK

THAT LETS ME MAKE OUT WITH HERUNTIL MY TONGUE HURTS.

SHE'S KIND OF MY LAST SHOTAT LIFELONG HAPPINESS.

WISH ME LUCK.

- ALL RIGHT. DON'T BLOW IT.[chuckles]

DON'T BLOW ITLIKE I'M ABOUT TO.

- HEY, BUDDY, I COULDN'T HELPBUT OVERHEAR

YOU'RE BEING A LITTLENERVOUS NELLY FURTADO.

- YEAH, I GUESS.

- YOU NEED A FRIEND?- OH, NAH.

BLEH! NO. DON'T DO IT.

- BLAKE, TRY IT ONCE, MAN.LOOK AT ME, MAN.

I GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT,BUDDY.

- DID IT CAUSE YOUR EYETO DO THAT, OR--

- NO, I WAS BORN WITH THAT.- OH, OKAY.

THEN, YEAH,I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.

- DOESN'T HELP,I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH.

- WHERE ARE MY BEERS?- OH!

I WAS JUST LOOKINGFOR SOME CRANBERRY JUICE.

- WELL...LOOK NO FURTHER.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

- ADAM, ARE YOU--ARE YOU KIDDING?

I'M 16.

- DEBATABLY THE SEXIEST AGE.

WE DOING THIS OR ARE YOU GONNAPUSSY OUT ON ME?

CHICKEN.

- ADAM, NO, I--I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT--

- OR, I DON'T KNOW,

YOU CAN KNOCK OFFALL THAT GOD STUFF, RIGHT?

AND JUST, PBBBBB...FUG ME HARD.

- WELL--- HIT THAT CABOOSE.

- NO, ADAM, MY FAITH MEANSEVERYTHING TO ME.

- FOREVER?

- I AM NOT HAVING SEXUNTIL I'M MARRIED.

- YEAH, DUH.YOU THICK?

YOU DUMB-DUMB.

OBVIOUSLY, THAT'S WHYI'M PROPOSING TO YOU.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, ADAM,

I THINK WE SHOULD TAKESOME TIME OFF.

AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU.

- YOU'LL BE IN MY PRAYERS.

YOU STILL WANT ME TO CALL YOUOUT OF CLASS ON TUESDAY?

I'LL TAKE YOU TO SONIC.

WOW, OKAY, YOU GIVE YOUR HEARTTO SOMEONE, RIGHT?

AND THEY JUST RIP IT OUT

AND [bleep]IN THE HEART CAVITY AREA.

COLLEGE SUCKS.IT'S STUPID.

- REALLY?- YEAH.

- I'M HAVINGA REALLY GREAT TIME.

- REALLY?

- OF COURSE,I'M FROM A BORING SMALL TOWN

WITH ONE STOPLIGHT,SO THIS IS--THIS IS FUN FOR ME.

- HOW RELIGIOUS ARE YOU?

- I WISH THIS WAS REAL.[pistol clicks]

[laughter]HE WOULD HAVE MURDERED HER.

- HEY, IT'S BLAKE, RIGHT?

- OH, [bleep] LOOK AT THIS.

- I SAW YOU ON CAMPUS EARLIER,AND I'VE GOTTA SAY,

PRETTY CONVINCINGFRENCH POLICE OFFICER.

- THANK YOU.- HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE

THE UNDERSTUDY OF JAVERT

IN THIS YEAR'S PRODUCTIONOF LES MIS?

- UNDERSTUDY.

HOW 'BOUT, UH, YOU STUDYUNDER MY NUT SACK?

- OH![laughter]

- RIGHT UNDER THERE.- THERE IT IS.

- THERE IT IS.- SORRY, IS THAT A NO?

- FRITZ, LIFE...IS A STAGE.

SMOKE WEED UNTIL YOU DIE.- THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT.