Andrew Santino - Red Headed People

New York Comedy Festival Season 1, Ep 1 01/11/2011 Views: 6,907

Andrew Santino believes that God was wasted when he made ginger faces. (1:49)

-It's the onlyjustification I can,

I can give for likedumb things, like

how redheaded people were made.

Oops, God was wasted, wastedwhen he made ginger faces.

Why would He do that to us?

God had to have beenblacked-out drunk.

Seventh day, He wassupposed to be resting.

He wasn't resting,nah-ha, um-hm.

Now, water-into-winething was just

drinking an entire oceanmaking orange people.

Just on an assemblyline of people.

Like, you, guys, come in here.

You have to see thecolor of this guy's hair.

I made him tall and[inaudible], and pale.

And as the best part,I'm going to put

little brown dotsall over his body.

No, I made a wholebunch of them.

I think they're goingto scare the shit out

of people whenthey get to Earth.

So we should keep them secluded.

Put then on-- what's thatisland we made, island?

Call it Irelandand ship them out.

Get them out of here.


That would he like to--

That's what happens-- I get redhair, I get a little bit older.

And now that it's thinning,thanks a lot, God.

There you go.

Give me one more bad thing.

Thinning red hair?

It's already redand it's thinning?

It's just so annoying.

I've tried everything, putstuff in it, doesn't work.

My hair, it just doesn'trespond well to me.

It fights back when I try tolike shape it and mold it.

My hair is like asassy black woman

that only speaksin third person.

I put stuff in my hair,I'm trying to shape it,

and my hair's like ah-ah, baby.

And hair gonna do whatit wanna do, baby.

Hair gonna blow withthe breeze, baby.

You just sit down andeat your supper, baby.

Black people love supper.

I love supper too.