His stuff went through...pancakes got x-rayed that day.
A TSA agent,
somebody with a badgeand responsibility.
And if they were fulfilling
even a fiberof their requirements
of keeping the skies safe,somebody had to at least
just, like,mumble something like,
"Um, sir, I'm s--um..."
"Is this a bag of pancakes?"
"Well, I've never dealt with itbefore either.
"I'm gonna say go ahead.
"I don't know.I don't know.
"We might get an earfulfor this,
but right now, bon voyage, that's what I'm gonna say."
And when you eat pancakesout of a bag
in a semi-public place,
there are rules.
First off, let people knowwhat you're getting into.
Make a little announcement.
"Hey, everybody, I gota bag of pancakes over here.
Don't get freaked out."
Offer 'em around.
Don't--you don't have to gofront and back, just same row.
Don't worry,nobody's taking any.
It's just a gesture.
"See, they are,in fact, pancakes.
"Would you care for some?
No? I understand."
Then, when you go to eat them--with your hands,
'cause my man did not havefork and knife on his person--
you eat themone at a time.
Driver's ed style,10:00 and 2:00.
You take a little nibbleout of 12:00,
and you hold it in your lap
until you're readyfor another bite.
You follow those rules,go crazy.
Hell, I like your style.
Way to usurpinflated airport pricing.
"No, I got my own."
This [bleep] guy...
he starts off--
he's just rustling aroundunder there.
He's just rustling.
You can't rustleon an airplane in this day--
He's rustling,he's kicking up odors.
Now we got people--[sniffs]
"Is that breakfast?I smell breakfast."
You're not supposedto smell food
on a domestic flight.
All it takes is oneparanoid weirdo to be like,
"I think hydraulic fluidsmells like breakfast!
We're going down!"
Now we're all in a panic,
'cause you don't know whathydraulic fluid smells like.