I've beengetting some--
some strange commentsfrom some of the women
I've been datingrecently.
I had one woman tell me--She said that--
That my dick was bigger thanshe thought it would be.
Wow, that compliment was moreinsulting than I thought it
I think she meantit as a compliment,
but all I'm hearingis that apparently,
I carry myself like somekind of small-dicked man.
Like, I walk through the door,all of the sudden, tiny dick
theme song starts playingsilently in everybody's head.
Here's anotherweird one I got.
I had one woman tell me--She said that I--
I fuck likea black man.
Thank you, eight people thataren't weirded out by that.
I know, itfeels strange.
First of all, let meclarify, it was a black woman
who said that to me.
I think people only picture mewith white women and that's why
they feelstrange, like,
oh, what kind of weirdanthropologically racist
chicks have you beenhooking up with?
Like, hmm, you thrustlike a North American Negro,
With the cadence of an Uzbekihighlander, very interesting.
No, she was black,but still, that's weird.
What'd she think itwas gonna be like getting
fucked by a white man?
What'd she thinkI was gonna embezzle
from herretirement fund?
Maybe next time I'llswitch it up just for fun,
fuck her likea white girl.
Like, oh, my God, you're totallytaking all this dick right now.
I mean, it's ridiculous.
I mean, come on,look at me.
Look at me.
I don't fucklike a black man.
Black men fucklike me.