It's been a dreamof mine
to get my name into The Guinness Book of World Records.
And, uh, it's a pretty big book.
I always figured there had to bea couple easy ones in there
that have maybe slipped throughthe cracks that I can do.
Like, uh, like you know, likeMost Part Irish. Or...
Two Weeks withoutEating Vegetables.
Something. But then I finallyread the whole book.
And they're all hard.The whole book is very hard.
World records, I saw one.This is a real record.
A guy won for Most Unusual Diet.
He has the record forThe Most Unusual Diet
because he can eat airplanes.
He ate an airplane.
And now he has the recordfor Most Unusual Diet.
I don't know, man.
I just hope, uh,
I just hope Al Qaeda doesn't geta hold of this guy.
You know, you're on your flightone day, you look over,
he's like... (grunting)
(grunts)I should have started
with the seats.
Calm down! Calm down!I filled up on seats.
For the next 20 years,no one can go to the gate
with a napkin tucked into their collar.
We're a nation of fearmongers.(chuckles)
(isolated clap)This guy wants to...
That guy cheered for wanting
to walk through the gatewith a napkin in his collar.
That's, uh, like, "Finally!"Uh...
I think, uh,
I think if Elvis did fakehis own death, um...
by now, he's probablydead anyway, I think.
Because it didn't...I don't see that guy
pulling through to present day.
Because back when I was a kid,it was always on the news.
People thought thatthey were seeing him.
It didn't sound like he hadgotten his act together.
You know, it'd be like,"I saw Elvis at a bar."
"I saw Elvis in a truck stopeating pancakes."
You know, nobody ever saw him,like, making a salad
or pricing outNordic Tracks or something.
That guy died in the woodsin 1985. That's, uh...
That's a best case scenario.