recently for a family reunion.
I hate those things.You know, I walk in there.
I look at everyone.
I think, ugh, I'mgetting my tubes tied.
The tree ends here.
It was my cousin's wedding.
Now, I'm not married,but I think a wedding is
like the most important dayin a person's life, right?
So she hires the worst bandin the Western Hemisphere.
I mean, there are centuries andcenturies of beautiful music.
These guys have toplay the hokey pokey.
Oh, my god.
It's the hokey pokey.
Do you know this song?
(SINGING) You putyour right foot in.
You put your right foot out.
(SPOKEN) Gee, whata haunting melody.
(SINGING) You putyour right food in,
and you shake it all about.
You do the hokey pokey andyou turn yourself around.
That's what it's all about.
I mean, can youimagine if that's
what it was really all about?
I mean, you workhard your whole life.
You go to heaven.
you check in.
"You mean it was just thehokey pokey the whole time?
All I had to do was this?
I'm could have called in sick."
So then my sisterhad a little boy.
I had to go to my nephew's bris.
Oh, if you don'tknow what a bris is,
I'll explain it to you.
It's really charming.
It's when a littleboy gets circumcised.
And all the friends andthe relatives get together.
What a festive event.
I mean, I think this israther inappropriate.
Really, I wouldn't inviteyou all to my internal exam
and serve bagels andegg salad afterwards.
Your happy Pap smear.
Here, have some nachos.
I passed my test.
Oh, that's sick.
But see, Jews willdo anything to eat.
Our entire lives, we'rein search of a buffet.
It's in the Bible.
That's why we werein the desert for 40
years looking forchafing dishes.
There's a golden calf.
Let's eat it."