Nick Kroll - Bouncers at the Airport

Tompkins, Kroll, Krug, Haines, Rivera, Kilpatrick, Nanjiani Season 4, Ep 0407 12/04/2009 Views: 27,960

Night club bouncers should check IDs at the airport because they can always spot a fake. (1:54)

New York ladies are crazy.

Looking good tonight.

Getting dressed up!

Wearing shoes, yeah.

New York ladies are crazy.

This lady is crazy.

She doesn't believe9/11 happened.


Oh, that's not going to bethe act, guys.

It's going to be a lot more

Jeff Goldblum-y than that,everybody.


Ah, ah, oh...

No, no, no,don't run away. I...


(scattered applause)

Oh, there'll be plenty of timeto clap, folks, so take it easy.

I, um-- some people tell meI look like Jeff Goldblum.

Other people tell meI look more like

a Nazi propaganda cartoonof a Jew.

I didn't bring my worldthat I usually

carry on my back behind me.

I do travel a lot doing comedy.

And what I found is

that I don't like going throughairport security

because I think they havethe wrong people checking IDs.

Like, the person I want checkingIDs at the airport are bouncers,

'cause they're the only oneswho can spot a fake.

So if a terrorist rolled up,

he'd be like,"Uh, here you go."

The bouncer would be like...

"Says you're born in June.

What's your sign, bro?"


"Uh, I don't know,like, a Libra?"

"It's a Gemini!Get the hell out of here, dude.

"And too many dudes.

You broughttoo many dudes with you."