Vic Henley - England

  • Season 9 , Ep 16
  • 05/28/2005
  • Views: 5,227

Calling soccer "football" makes too much sense. (2:02)

LIVING HERE'S THE COOLEST THING.

I GET TO WORK A LOT IN EUROPE

SOMETIMES.

LIKE SOME PEOPLE OVER THERE

SAW ME HERE AND THEN GOT INVITED

OVER THERE AND IT'S REALLY FUN.

I GET TO GO TO ENGLAND.

DO YOU THINK BRITISH PEOPLE

GET ANNOYED THAT EVERY TIME

GEORGE BUSH GOES, "[WHISTLES],"

THAT TONY BLAIR RUNS IN THE ROOM

AND JUMPS IN HIS LAP?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YEAH?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HA-HA.

"WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO TODAY,

GEORGE?

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO TODAY,

GEORGE?

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO TODAY?"

[LAUGHTER]

I GOT TO GO SEE...

WHENEVER I WAS OVER THERE,

I'VE SEEN SOCCER OVER THERE

A COUPLE TIMES, FOOTBALL.

YOU GUYS OUGHT TO KNOW THAT,

RIGHT?

WE CALL IT SOCCER.

THE REST OF THE WORLD CALLS

THE GAME WHAT?

Audience: FOOTBALL.

Vic Henley: THANK YOU,

SMART PEOPLE.

[LAUGHTER]

GOOD GOD, YOU KNOW.

AND I'M GUESSING I'M GOING

OUT ON A LIMB HERE.

I'M GUESSING THEY CALL IT

FOOTBALL BECAUSE IT'S A BALL,

AND AH, KICK IT WITH YOUR FOOT.

[LAUGHTER]

PROBABLY WHERE THEY CAME UP

WITH THAT, I'M GUESSING.

OBVIOUSLY THAT MAKES TOO MUCH

SENSE TO US HERE IN AMERICA.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO REACT

TO THAT.

THAT MAKES TOO MUCH LOGIC

FOR US, RIGHT?

WE DO THE GOOD OL' AMERICAN

THING.

"SOCCER!"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I BET PEOPLE FROM ENGLAND GO,

"YOU KNOW IT'S ACTUALLY BEEN

A GAME LONGER THAN YOU GUYS

HAVE BEEN A COUNTRY."

AND WE'RE LIKE,

"LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.

SOCCER!

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WE HAVE ALL THE GUNS AND THE

MONEY.

SOCCER."

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S WHY THE REST OF THE WORLD

LOVES US SO MUCH RIGHT NOW,

EVERYBODY.

IT'S THAT LITTLE ATTITUDE RIGHT

THERE THAT HAS THE PLANET EARTH

ENTHRALLED WITH US.

THAT'S WHY WHEN GEORGE BUSH

STOOD IN FRONT OF THE U.N.

AND SAID, "WE'RE GOING TO WAR!

WHO'S WITH US?"

400 COUNTRIES STARED AT HIM LIKE

AMISH PEOPLE AT CIRCUIT CITY.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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