David Spade - Driving in L.A.

David Spade: My Fake Problems 05/04/2014 Views: 13,202

David Spade reveals that both drivers and pedestrians in L.A. are simply awful. (1:32)

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YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE CROSSINGTHE STREET OUT HERE, IN L.A.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT-OF-WAY WHENYOU CROSS A STREET.

THE CARS HAVE TO STOP.

AND IT'S ALWAYS WEIRD BECAUSEIT'S SORT OF A POWER TRIP.

YOU KNOW, NO ONE USESA CROSSWALK.

EVERYONE'S LIKE THIS,"HEY, THAT WAS A GREAT LUNCH.

MAYBE LATER ON--"

[screeches]

[screeches]

[hums mockingly]

WHEN I CROSS, I GIVETHE COURTESY FAKE JOG.

THEY'RE LIKE, "JUST WALK, SIR.

YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING SLOWER."

I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE THAT HAVETOO MUCH SAFETY

IN THE PROTECTIONOF THE RIGHT-OF-WAY.

THIS WOMAN'S PUSHING HER BABYIN THE STROLLER,

BUT SHE'S TEXTING.

SHE'S LIKE--LIKE, SHE'S SORT OF POKING

THE KID OUT LIKE A STICK,YOU KNOW,

TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENINGOUT THERE.

AND I'M PULLING UP, AND I KNOWI'M SUPPOSED TO STOP.

BUT I'M TEXTING TOO.YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

AND I'D WANT TO.THAT'S THE IDEA.

IT'S JUST NOT A PERFECT SCIENCE,YOU KNOW.

IT USUALLY WORKS OUT.

I'M LIKE--

AND SOMETIMES I GO FOR THATFULL SENTENCE.

[screeches]

"WHERE AM I?"

LIKE, LITERALLY,"AM I IN A CAR?"

I'M LIKE, "LET'S GOTO THE MOVIE LA--

AM I IN THE STREET?"

[screeching]

IT'S SCARY.

THERE'S TIMES WHEN IT'S REALTOUCH-AND-GO.