Uncensored - Hannibal Buress - Not Religious

Hannibal Buress: Live From Chicago Season 1, Ep 1 03/29/2014 Views: 20,507

People who are into religion are really interested in getting Hannibal Buress to be religious. (1:11)

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and it won't connect to anythingthat I'm doing

in the rest of this--I'll just do it.

I want to jizz in my handand go to a palm reader

and say,"What does this mean?"

[laughter and applause]

What does this mean?What do you see in my future?

A nap?Yeah, a nap.

That's a jokethat I should have written

when I was 12 years old.

I wrote itlegit six weeks ago.

Just if you wanted a--

if you wanted a glimpseinside the mental state

of this 30-year-old.

People--I'm not religious, andsome people are very religious,

and that's fine if peopleare religious, but it seems

like the people that arereligious are way more

into getting me to beinto religion than I am

into getting them outof religion, which is annoying.

I hate that.

And I only tell youthat I'm not religious

because it's my showand I can say what I want.

I would never cometo your house.

Hey, what's up?

I don't believein the shit you believe in.

All right.I'm out of here.

Enjoy your Saturday.You got a beautiful family.

Let me knock this Bible off.

Peace out.

I don't know why you got a Bibleright at your front door anyway.