Gregg Rogell - Italian Martial Arts

Rogell, Ramey, Drysdal, Davey Season 3, Ep 0307 01/04/2000 Views: 5,986

Italian martial arts are a lot like karate. (2:18)

NICE TO BE HERE.

I JUST GOT THIS SUIT YESTERDAY.

DO YOU LIKE THIS SUIT?

DO I LOOK ALL RIGHT IN IT?

YEAH.

I DON'T REALLY LIKE ITTHAT MUCH.

I WISH I HAD AN ASS, YOU KNOW?

ISN'T THAT AMAZING?

I'M BUILT LIKEA 14-YEAR-OLD ASIAN GIRL.

IT'S REALLY KIND OF SAD.

( groaning and laughing )

SOMETIMES, I WEAR TWO WALLETSSO IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE AN ASS.

I WORRY ABOUT MY HEALTH.

QUIT DRINKING SIX MONTHS AGO.

WELL, YOU KNOW...

I THOUGHT I WAS HAVINGBLADDER PROBLEMS

'CAUSE I'D GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT

AND I'D WAKE UP, LIKE,FIVE OR SIX TIMES

TO USE THE BATHROOM.

SO, I WENT TO THE DOCTOR.

HE TOLD ME TO STOP SLEEPINGTILL 3:00 IN THE AFTERNOON.

WELL, I'M LAZY, YOU KNOW?

I AM TRYING TO EXERCISE, THOUGH.

TAKING A COURSE HERE IN NEW YORKIN ITALIAN MARTIAL ARTS.

LOT OF FUN, YEAH.

ITALIAN MARTIAL ARTS--IT'S A LOT LIKE KARATE...

LOT OF KICKS AND STUFF

EXCEPT THERE ARE TWO GUYSHOLDING YOUR OPPONENT DOWN

WHILE YOU'REACTUALLY KICKING HIM.

WE DON'T GET BLACK BELTS.

WE GET TANK TOPS.

WE'RE TOUGH HERE IN NEW YORK.

WE'RE THE TOUGHEST PEOPLEIN THE WORLD.

WE BUY HOT DOGS OFF THE STREETIN NEW YORK.

THAT'S HOW TOUGH WE ARE.

HOW RISKY IS THAT--

BUYING MEATFROM SHADY-LOOKING FOREIGNERS

ON A STREET CORNER?

( indistinct foreign accent ):WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A HOT DOG?

I KEEP THEM IN MY CLOSET,YOU KNOW.

ARE THEY KOSHER?

YES.

( laughs )

OH, THEY KNOW THEY'RE SELLINGYOU CRAP.

THEY SELL IT TO YOU.

THEN, THEY WATCH YOU EAT IT.

OH, THERE YOU GO.

( imitating foreign language )

THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE,ISN'T IT?

( imitating foreign language )

THAT'S ALSO THE SOUND YOU MAKE

WHEN YOU FALLDOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

( laughing )

I'M KIDDING.

I'M TEASINGMY ISLAMIC BROTHERS.