Roast Battle II - Matthew Broussard vs. Todd Barry - Uncensored

Roast Battle II: Night Four - Uncensored Season 2, Ep 8 01/29/2017 Views: 6,186

Todd Barry slams Matthew Broussard's career, and Matthew hits back with jokes about Todd's creepiness. (8:52)

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Let's roast![bell dings]

- Before I start,I wanted to say that, um,

that cat just did somethingthat Matthew's never done--

a paid gig.

Matthew really wonthe genetic lottery, he did,

and the combinationof good looks and corny jokes

is God's say of saying, "You'regonna die a game show host."

[cheers and applause]

[horn blares]

- Todd, you look like a Make-A-Wish kid who forgot to die.

audience: Oh!

[cougar growling]

[cougar snarling]

[snarling, growling]

- I've seen you on stage.

You could probablyteach me about dying.

audience: Oh!

[honk honk honk honk]

You know, Matthew doesn'teven follow me on Twitter.

That's like Justin Biebernot following the Beatles.

[scattered laughs]

You guys could have laughedlouder at that one.

- Todd, you may bemore successful than me,

but you're 52,no wife, no family.

You've had a lot of greatstand-up specials,

but your death will bea one-man show.

audience: Oh!

[bass notes]

- But to reiterate,I am more successful than you.

I was talking to Matthew,he was telling me,

he goes, "You shouldgo check out my blog.

It's called "Monday Pun Day."

- You should.- I said thanks for the warning.

[drumbeat]

- Todd...Todd, you're not only creepy,

you're also pretentious.

You're the kinda guy who wouldwatch child porn and say,

"I prefer the book."

audience: Oh!

[siren blaring]

[rifle cocking]

[rifle shots]

[siren blaring]

- Last joke!

- Matthew, you're a, uh...

Matthew is a think--- Ow!

- You all right?

Matthew is a thinking man'sAnthony Jeselnik.

Except that a thinking man wouldthink that Anthony's funnier.

[Jeff laughing]

- Todd, you're well-knownin the comedy community.

You've been on Louie...'s dickfor about 20 years?

He seems like a jerk,but he's actually very polite.

Like he was polite enough to letall of his friends pass him by.

- [laughing] Oh, my God.- Jeff.

[bell dinging]

- And that'll do itfor the semifinals.

Todd Barry,Matthew Broussard.

Jeff Ross.

[cheers and applause]

- I don't wanna spend--

Just hilarious, both of you,just totally hilarious.

I been laughing so hard.Somebody jump in here.

That was like watchingthe school bully

verse the substituteteacher.

- I mean, I gotta say,it's crazy, I mean, to see--

Todd Barry,you're a luminary, an icon.

You're my favorite...my favorite cautionary tale.

Uh, that--

That being--that being said, really,

I have looked up your--your joke-writing skills.

You're so, so, so funny.

And your opponent,who I guess was funny,

but I'm distractedby how you look like

some piece of shitblueblood East coast

[bleep] trash trust fundmother[bleep] wannabe

Harvard bullshit Yale...

You know what?You look like the kinda guy

Natasha Leggero would date,all right?

- Oh!

- All things being equal,very, very funny,

but Todd Barry,just by a mile,

much, much funnier,much stronger,

much better joke-writingskills.

- Interesting.Todd Barry, one vote.

- For the record--- Jason, are you ready?

Natasha?- For the record,

Matthew's not Jewish enoughfor my tastes.

- Hey yeah!

[chanting]

- Todd...that was so great.

Todd looks likethe guy who the girls

would go to for consolingthat Matthew rapes.

I'm just trying to--

[Jeff laughing]- You want--

- Stanford swim team,Stanford swim team.

- What's the percentage

Matthew hasn't date rapedsomeone?

Like can you goless than zero percent?

No? I don't know.You're very cute.

No, but I really feltin this roast

that you guys were justgoing anywhere,

like and it felt likeall in the name of the roast,

so I think it was so great.

- It was a good fun.

If you had to picksomebody like now,

who would you pick?

[laughter]

- I would have to pick Todd,

'cause he's just such a master!

- Yeah!- Okay.

Interesting.- But Matthew

really held his own.- Yes, you can!

- Who?- Two for Todd!

- Sorry, Matthew!- We have two votes left.

- Look, listen,

this was Hearns-Hagler,these were--

They were toe-to-toe,just trading--

I mean, nobody...

Every--every--every insult was answered,

and Todd,just from sheer volume,

you got in an insultbefore you did your insult.

I don't knowhow you pulled that off.

Matthew's writing is amazing.

Todd, we've been friendsfor a million years.

I've been a fan of yours

for longer.- Focus.

- I will focus.I'm sorry.

Writing-wise,I gotta give it to Matt.

I'm sorry.

[cheers and applause]

I'm sorry!I love you.

But...sorry.

- Two for Todd,one for Matthew.

Two votes left.

- Sudeikis,don't [bleep] this up!

- I won't.

I'll try not to.I mean, this was great.

This is like, you know,

this is like an alt rightchat room face-to-face.

It's fantastic.It really is.

It's like two sidesof the same coin,

and I...and I hate you bothin equal measure in that regard.

Todd, you've always beennice to me,

but then again,I was introduced to you

by, you know,one of your close friends,

so I think that's probably why.

So...[laughter]

But it's really nice to bein a situation

where I'm judging you,versus the other way around.

Um...to be quite honest.

Matthew, fantastic job.

Yeah, I mean, I thinkjust writing-wise

I gotta give it to Matthew.

Matthew let the whole room in.

I gotta say.- We have a tie!

Two to two.

Jeff Ross,it all comes down to you

to see who faces Frankin the final match-up.

- That's fine.That's fine.

That's fine, that's fine.[man yelling]

Hold on. That's fine.

Hold on a second.

Todd, you came outcounter-punching so funny,

the game show host,the cat thing,

but Matthew,the Make-A-Wish joke,

the one-man show,the child porn joke,

the "Louie" joke...

[cheers and applause]

Todd, if you wanna score it,and I did,

I do think that, Todd,you did miss one joke

where Toddhad a perfect record.

Todd, it's been so funwatching the guy

who busted my ballsmy whole career,

busting the balls of thesecomedians here this week.

You're a true master

of what you do.- Let's get to your vote.

[laughter]

- And I'll say this.And I'll say this, buddy.

You brought your styleto the roasting game,

and I'm very impressedby that.

Strictly--strictly--

strictly on scoring,

Matthew Broussardgoes to the final.

- Matthew Broussardgoing against Frank!