Thank you very much.
Thank you. Please...
Thank you very much.
Welcome to The Nightly Show.
I am Larry Wilmore.
Please, have a seat.Such a great crowd.
Libertarian candidatefor president
Governor Gary Johnsonwill be on the show later,
-so stick around for that.-(cheering, applause)
Ain't no partylike the third party
'cause the third party don't...
You guys don't...
All right...We pro... we probably
have to pay for that now, right?All right.
Uh, so, last night, HillaryClinton officially accepted
her party'sUnblackination nomination.
Which means it's timefor The Unblackening.
That still scares me every time.
But, man, kudosto Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
That lady put togethera great convention
that she couldn't attend becauseshe resigned in disgrace.
You did it, girl.You did it.
This thing was epic.
It was epic. No, really.
No, I mean, last nightthe Democrats ended
what I have to say was the bestRepublican convention ever.
Retired General John Allen.
America will defeat ISIS
and protect the homeland.
God says so much.
I worked in President Reagan'sWhite House.
Ronald Reagan.Ronald Reagan.
Ronald Reagan.Ronald Reagan.
Feel the ever-so-mild burn?
In fact, the DNCwas so Republican,
you even hada surprise appearance
by the Constitution itselfwhen Khizr Khan,
the father of fallenMuslim-American soldier
Humayun Khan,delivered one of the evening's
most memorable lines.
Donald Trump,you're asking Americans
to trust you with their future.
Have you even read
the United States Constitution?
I will gladly
lend you my copy.
Ooh. Wow, man.
If Khizr Khan didn't move you,then I don't know.
You must be the Republicannominee for president.
I mean, 'cause... I mean...
In fact, in fact,Khan's burn upset Trump so much
we actually have footageof his reaction.
It's true.We're not making that up.
Our cameras catch everything.
So, pretty mucheverything you heard
leading up to Hillary's speechwas something you would have
expected to hearat past GOP conventions.
Well, exceptthis kind of star power.
-MAN: Here's Katy Perry. -How you doing?
See, at a Republican conventionit would have been, "And now,
Gary Sinise andthe Lieutenant Dan Band."
Or maybe Scott Baio's new bandChachi and the Mariachis.
By the way, by the way,
look at this guyduring Katy Perry's performance.
♪ 'Cause I amthe champion, and... ♪
We don't evenhave a joke for that.
We just felt it wasour patriotic duty
to show it to you.
That was very strange.
And right before her big speech,
CNN's knightsof the pundit table
speculated onwhat Hillary needed to do.
She has to be herself.
Contrast herselfwith Donald Trump.
Thread the needleon policy a little bit.
Lay forth a plan for the future.
Appeal to independents.Try to appeal to Republicans.
No, sweat, man.All she has to do
is address her weak spots and hit Trump,
and reintroduce herself and appeal to Republicans
and progressives and independents,
and motorcycle jumpthrough a flaming hoop
over ten school buseswhile juggling chain saws,
and she'll do great.
-(cheering, applause)-She's gonna do great.
All right, so, Hillary Clinton
finally took her placein the spotlight alone.
Not as a motheror a president's wife,
but as the first woman to be onestep away from the Oval Office.
And so, my friends,
it is with humility,
determination,and boundless confidence
in America's promise
that I accept your nomination
for presidentof the United States.
That's history, man.
I mean, I don't care, evenif you hate Hillary Clinton,
seriously, there was no wayyou couldn't be riveted--
eyes like a raccoon...
Right? Just soaking upevery second of that history.
HILLARY CLINTON:It won't be easy or quick.
But make no mistake,we will prevail.
That was awkward.
Di... Did you see the expressionon Tim Kaine's face, right?
He's like, "Uh, seriously, Bill?
You've got to be(bleep) kidding me."
Oh, wait, it's Tim Kaine,
so he would say, "de verdad, Guillermo?
Me estas (bleep)."
Come on, Bill,your wife is giving
the most important speechof her life.
You're her husband. Remember?
You met a girl? Right?
You should be giving her yourfull attention, like this.
♪ 'Cause I am...
That's how you do it. Yeah.
that guy'spaying full attention.
Get him off, get him off.Please.
Thank you. All right.
So, after this historic speech,
um, we got to getsome nice unbiased
and non-sexist analysis.Take it away, Fox.
If she doesn't understand it,when you speak into a microphone
like that, there's such thingsas amplifiers and speakers,
and you're gonna be heard.
Makes you feel a little bitlike you've been called into
-the principal's office.-She's not gonna really have
a good voice, uh,next week after that speech.
She's not the best publicspeaker, and she gets louder
and louderand a little shrill and angry.
She has a not-so-attractivevoice.
A woman doesn't have to speakin a demure whisper
while she's telling you how sheplans to lead the free world.
At the end of two weeksof watching these conventions,
I have two takeaways.
One, life is meaninglessand we are all just carelessly
hurtling towards the void,so there's that.
And two, the nominationof Donald Trump,
much like the invasionof Pearl Harbor,
seems to have awakeneda sleeping giant.
Yeah, this felt likea Republican convention,
but only becausefor the past few decades
the Republicans have donesuch a great job
of hijacking patriotismand faith
and a sense of Americanexceptionalism.
And by the way,with the complicit aid
of the Democratic party,
who thought thatcriticizing things like
an unjust war in Vietnamor not wanting religion
to be a part of politicsmeant that
they had to turn the volume downon their love of country.
Look, both Democrats andRepublicans love their country.
But now, after a weekof listening to Mango Mussolini
saying America sucks,
the sleeping giantof Democratic patriotism
has been awakened.
We'll be right back.