The Colbert Report

ThreatDown - Non-Blondes

Season 2 • 03/06/2006

Tonight's threats: cash, curators, Idaho lawmakers, gay penguins and non-blondes.

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00:33

Intro - 3/2/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen investigates humans playing God, predicts Oscar winners and interviews economist Jeffrey Sachs.
03/02/2006
02:51

The Word - Homo Sapien Agenda
The Colbert ReportS2

The only reason Stephen could imagine being gay is to have all the sex you want without ladies and their emotional outbursts.
03/02/2006
07:02

Jeffrey Sachs
The Colbert ReportS2

Jeffrey Sachs explains that giving a little aid to impoverished countries is the least that Americans can do.
03/02/2006
04:13

The DaColbert Code - The Oscars
The Colbert ReportS2

Using the DaColbert Code, Stephen discovers who killed John F. Kennedy, who's to blame for the slow response to Hurricane Katrina and who will win this year's Academy Awards.
03/02/2006
01:00

Never Say Die
The Colbert ReportS2

A positive story out of Iraq -- if you replace the words "basketball" with "Iraq" and "cheerleader with indomitable spirit" with "President George W. Bush."
03/06/2006
05:53

Bob Schieffer
The Colbert ReportS2

Bob Schieffer has good ratings for his morning show because most of his elderly viewers died in the night and left the television on.
03/06/2006
01:00

Hollywood Decontamination
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen wants Jon Stewart to quickly return from Hollywood so that he can be "de-Clooneyed."
03/06/2006
00:11

Sign Off - Narnia
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen Colbert hears that Narnia is very popular with children.
03/06/2006
02:59

The Word - Spoiler Alert!
The Colbert ReportS2

Consumer Reports is committing the treason of telling everyone that Japanese cars test better than American cars.
03/06/2006
00:40

Intro - 3/6/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen reports on consumer reports, interviews CBS anchor Bob Schieffer and briefly focuses on international news.
03/06/2006
05:31

ThreatDown - Non-Blondes
The Colbert ReportS2

We need to maintain the purity of the blonde race with a massive selective breeding program.
03/06/2006
04:24

The Word - The Long War
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen Colbert explains why the "war on terror" has been renamed "the long war."
03/07/2006
04:20

All You Need to Know - Video Games
The Colbert ReportS2

From Supreme Court rulings and international news to a new video game, here's All You Need To Know.
03/07/2006
00:36

Intro - 3/7/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen will look at our progress in the war on terror and speak with congressional scholar, Norman Ornstein.
03/07/2006
07:30

Norman Ornstein
The Colbert ReportS2

Political scientist Norman Ornstein explains how the current Congress does less than nothing.
03/07/2006
03:05

Colbert Manor
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen proves to Sir Benjamin Slade that he matches the criteria to become his heir.
03/07/2006
00:36

Intro - 3/8/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Coming up, Stephen covers Monopoly's anniversary, a pending Iraqi civil war and the fortitude of James Webb's convictions.
03/08/2006
02:39

Colbert Manor Revisited
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen uses his family history to convince British aristocrat Sir Benjamin Slade that he is, in fact, the right choice to become his heir.
03/08/2006
01:37

Used Flag Offer
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen likes putting up a fresh American flag every day, but that has caused him to have an excess of used flags.
03/08/2006
04:13

The Word - Monopoly
The Colbert ReportS2

In dedication to the board game Monopoly, Stephen discusses how monopolies are the best form of business.
03/08/2006
03:09

Stephen's Sound Advice - Civil War Do's & Don'ts
The Colbert ReportS2

From color-coded uniforms to famous generals, civil war advice may come in handy for the Iraqis.
03/08/2006
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