Amy Schumer - Charlie Sheen & Bruce Willis

09/19/11 Views: 169,836

Amy Schumer points out a similarity between Charlie Sheen and Bruce Willis. (0:52)

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT SHOULDALREADY BE DEAD

CHARLIE SHEEN IS STILL ALIVE.

CHARLIE, YOU--I'M A FAN.

YOU WERE AMAZING IN "PLATOON."

YOUR MARRIAGETO DENISE RICHARDS,

IT WAS KIND OF LIKEHER VIETNAM,

'CAUSE SHE WAS CONSTANTLY AFRAIDOF BEING KILLED BY CHARLIE.

[laughter]

BUT THERE'S NO DENYINGHOW FAMOUS YOU ARE.

I MEAN,IT WAS INTERNATIONAL NEWS

WHEN YOU RUINED THE LIVES

OF THOSE TWO GIRLSLIVING WITH YOU--

YOU KNOW,YOUR DAUGHTERS.

[audience groans]

BUT, NO, I MEAN, CHARLIE,YOU GET A BAD RAP,

BUT YOU'RE JUST LIKEBRUCE WILLIS.

YOU KNOW, YOU WERE BIGIN THE '80s,

AND NOW YOUR OLD SLOT'S BEINGFILLED WITH ASHTON KUTCHER.

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